Page 17 of Oblivion

The things she’s done to stop others from being treated the way we treated her are so extreme that to hear her give me permission to become the person she hates so much is so shocking that I can barely believe it.

“Whatever it takes?” I question, furrowing my brow as I stare at her, wondering if I’m having some kind of mental breakdown.

“Whatever it takes.” She nods, decisiveness flashing hot and honest in her expressive eyes that, until now, have only ever looked at me with hatred and disdain.

The room explodes with sound as Hunter jumps from his chair and starts to yell at Starling, but I block out the voices, lost to my own thoughts and the million questions thundering around in my head.

“If you have feelings for Sammy, now is the time to fight for her. We might lose her forever if she marries this guy, and I need her too much to let her slip away because she doesn’t feel like she’s one of us,” Starling admits, her lips dipping into a sad frown as fresh tears roll down her cheeks.

“What if she is crazy in love with this guy?” I ask, uttering the words that truly are my worst nightmare.

“Bunny had a boyfriend,” she says with a shrug.

“Are you suggesting I break her and her fiancé up?” I ask, a surprised chuckle bursting from my throat as a smile tugs at the corners of my lips.

“If she picks you over him, she was never his in the first place,” she says, her expression morphing into a look I’ve only ever seen on her once before. Then, she had been dropping Bunny’s tracking chip onto the table in front of Hunter, tellinghim he’d lost the woman he loved and that it was all his own fault.

When we first met Starling, she was innocent, sweet, and young. There was nothing calculating or manipulative about her. But she’s changed, we’ve changed her, and now as I look at her, I can’t help sucking in a breath as the all too familiar punch of guilt hits me.

A part of me believes that if we’d never become a part of her life, she’d never, ever have considered derailing her friend’s relationship. But this is who she is now, and as much as I regret it, I can’t go back and change things because, good or bad, this is who we helped make her.

“Carte blanche? And you promise you won’t throw anything I do to bring her home back in my face?” I question, needing to know that when her own guilt kicks in, she won’t turn even more blame on me.

Wiping the tears from her face, her expression hardens, and she nods. “No holds barred. Carte blanche. Do whatever you need to.”

Sebastian’s gleeful laugh makes me feel a little sick. Collaring her throat with his palm, he drags her to him until her back is pressed to his front, then he tilts her head to rest on his shoulder so they can look at each other. “Welcome to the psycho club, Little Bird.”

11

SAMMY

Drew’s arm, which is wrapped around my waist, tightens slightly as he squeezes me, a soft happy sound slipping from his lips as he holds me to his side close enough that I can rest my head against his shoulder as we walk out of the airport. The ring on my finger feels heavy, and despite being content with my decision to say yes, a shadowy sense of loss and longing has settled over me. Being in his arms is familiar, comforting, and…nice, the same way it has been since we were kids. He’s my family, he’s home. But as I squeeze my cell phone tightly in my hand, I can’t help mourning the loss of another family, the one I’m leaving behind in California.

Since Starling and I became friends, I’ve always known that my world in Cali would never fit with my home in DC. My friends are great. They’re fun and weird and crazy rich, but the moment I got to Kingsacre, I decided to draw a line between my new life and my old one to keep them separate. The divide between conservative, perfect Samantha and wild and free Sammy felt too wide, and I truly didn’t believe there was a way I could bring my two worlds together. More than once, I had nightmares that featured Mama meeting Starling and Sebastian and watching her eyes go cartoon wide as Sebastian manhandled and banteredwith his wife. I’d wake up in a cold sweat at the thought of my parents waving me off as I boarded one of the guy’s private jets wearing bootie shorts and a crop top.

I can still taste the panic that overwhelms me when I think about having to explain to my parents that I don’t live in the house they’ve been paying for, and that all the stories I’ve told them about mundane and appropriate evenings with the Attingham triplets have been complete fabrications I’ve made up to make them believe that I’m behaving the way they’d expect me to behave.

My parents aren’t monsters. They wouldn’t be rude or nasty to my friends. My dad would probably pee himself with excitement at all the business opportunities being associated with the Morrises, Rossbergs, Jansens, and Lockwoods could bring him. But no matter how rich and influential they are, I seriously doubt my mama would approve of the way my friends dress or the flashy cars they drive.

Until I came home for summer break, I honestly saw nothing wrong with my two worlds never colliding. But while the others spent their summer in a house on the beach, playing in the sand, or traveling the world on private jets, my vacation time was spent interning at the mayor’s office and having formal family dinners with my family and Drew’s.

Suddenly crash-landing into reality after living in somewhat of a fantasy land at school made the disparity between me and my friends become even more apparent.

I’m not like them.

Sebastian, Clay, Hunter, and Evan know exactly what their futures will look like. All of them have been groomed since birth to take over their families’ businesses. Even though they’re all rich assholes with an over-inflated sense of self-worth, and in some cases even a mile long god complex, they all still have a plan. They have a future, goals, and a destiny.

As messed up as Starling and Sebastian’s past is, he made her a part of his future when they were just kids, and entwined their lives together so tightly, there has never been any chance for either of them to escape, no matter how hard Starling tried.

No matter what she wants to do with her life, it’ll always be a part of Sebastian’s, and as an extension of that, the guys’ world.

January and Bunny both married into the crazy, so their futures are set. Both of them tried life without their men, and both chose to go back to those crazy boys. And even though Evan is single right now, ultimately, he’ll settle down and find himself a wife who will become connected to them all too.

I know they’re all my friends. I know Starling is truly my sister in every way but blood, but the reality is that my world isn’t like theirs. Once I graduate from college, I have to get a real job. My family is rich, and I have a trust fund that will ensure I never struggle for money, but my family isn’t rich enough that I can just float through life without a care in the world.

When school is over, I won’t be moving into a custom-built house on a private estate with a private beach. I won’t be stepping into a role that was created for me when I was born. As much as I love them all, this summer highlighted the differences between us, and it made me see that as much as I’ve loved being one of them this year, my life isn’t a game, and I need to start living it, not playing pretend in a world that will never be mine.

As we reach Drew’s car, he pulls back and drops his arm from around my shoulders. Smiling down at me with his perfectly white-toothed smile, he leans in and presses a sweet, dry kiss against my lips. “Let’s go home. Our parents are all waiting to celebrate with us.” His voice is perfectly polished, his tone slightly smug.

---