“He thinks that it’d be better for my long-term prospects to graduate from Harvard, yes.”
“Are you fucking him?” she blurts.
“No,” I blurt back. “We’re just friends.”
“Is this because of Evan?”
Apparently, Starling isn’t holding anything back today.
“What could Evan have to do with anything?” I snap.
“He wants you,” she states, like it’s a known fact.
“No, he doesn’t.”
“He’s in love with you.”
“Starling,” I gasp. “Evan is not in love with me, he…” I trail off again, not wanting to admit that I gave him a chance, and he walked away.
“You saidDrewwas dismissive of you. You told me he talked himself up by putting you down. You said he liked you quiet and pretty. You’re so much more than just a pretty face, Sammy.”
Smiling softly at my best friend, I shrug. “We’re just friends. We haven’t even kissed since I came home for summer. And he’s different now. We’re both different.”
“And what about Evan?”
“What about Evan? He had his chance.” I regret the words the moment I say them, especially when Starling’s eyes light up and her lips curl into a knowing grin.
“I knew it,” she squeals. “What did he do to fuck it up?”
“Nothing. We had a moment. He told me he was wrong for me. We had another moment, and then when I woke up the next morning, he was gone.”
“You had sex and he did a fuck and chuck? I’ll kill him, the fucking asshole,” Starling growls.
“Calm down. We didn’t have sex. But he told me that if we were together, he’d hurt me, and he did.”
“This is my fault,” Starling says.
“How is it your fault that Evan doesn’t want me?”
“Because he’s being an idiot because he’s being eaten alive by his guilt. He feels bad about everything that happened in high school and…after…and then once we came to college. They all feel bad. Well, maybe not Sebastian, but Clay, Hunter, and Evan do. But since our parents got married, he wants to be my big brother, but he knows that a real brother would never have done what he did. Of the four of them, he’s really the only one who truly regrets what he helped Sebastian do to me. But he’s also the only one who’s refused to move past it or learn from it.”
“Have you forgiven him?” I ask her.
She doesn’t answer immediately, her expression turning thoughtful. “I’m trying to forgive them, but it’s hard. Some days, I feel like I’m over it. But then others, I’m so angry and hurt, and I want to hurt them in response.”
“I think that’s understandable,” I admit.
“We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you and Evan. How do you feel about him?”
“It doesn’t matter. We had a moment, and now it’s gone,” I say dismissively, trying and failing to believe my own words.
“Bullshit,” she gasps. “You love him.”
“I do not,” I protest.
“Yes, you do.” Straightening in her seat, she laughs. “Oh my god, you’re in love with Evan. Come home and tell him. Maybe then he’ll stop being a mopey asshole. Maybe he can turn some of his guilt into your orgasms.”
“That won’t happen,” I say sadly, my own mood not being affected by Starling’s jubilance.