Page 98 of Growing Into Love

“Wait,” she says. “You and Cass…you guys are together. Cass. Oh my god. This is brilliant!”

Cass and I both glance at each other warily.

“What?” Cass says.

Theresa’s whole face is glowing. “Yes,” she says, more to herself than to us. “Fucking brilliant. Four. Oh my god.”

Cass abruptly pulls her hand out of mine. “You know what,” she says. “You two really do need to talk. Alone. I’m going to go back to Oak Hill.”

“Cass, no,” I say.

“I’m not asking permission,” Cass snaps.

“I’m so happy for you guys,” Theresa gushes.

“Stop that,” Cass says. “You’re freaking me out. This whole thing is freaking me out. I need…I need a minute.”

Panic grips me. The future I had imagined so clearly begins to crack.

“Cass,” I say but she waves me off, pushing past Theresa and storming down the road, back toward town.

“Sorry,” Theresa says. “I didn’t mean to...” She rubs her eyes. “Can I come in?”

I’m still in a state of shock. I want Cass to come back. I want Theresa to not be here. I want the world to slow down for a minute.

“Jaz?” Theresa says hesitantly.

“Yeah,” I say, startling back to the present. “Yeah, come in.”

We sit at the kitchen table. Neither of us seems to know what to say next.

“D’you want tea?” I ask just as Theresa says, “Craig is infertile.”

“Oh,” I say.

Theresa looks down and twines her fingers together in her lap. “We’ve been trying for a baby for a year now,” she says softly. “When I found out I was pregnant I was so excited. We both were. And then we heard from the fertility doctor we’ve been seeing.” She swallows and looks up at me. “That’s when I knew it had to be yours.”

It's finally beginning to sink in that this is real. Theresa is actually pregnant. It doesn’t seem fair. I’ve wanted a family for so long, but not this way.

“How does Craig feel about all this?” I ask, desperate to know someone else is just as mixed up as I am.

“It was a shock at first,” Theresa allows. “But now he’s really excited about being a dad—he’s quite accustomed to non-traditional family structures.”

“Oh,” I say again. I’m not sure what that means but I don’t feel like talking about Craig anymore.

“But I wanted to make sure you knew about this baby,” Theresa says. “Give you the option to be involved or not.”

“Of course I want to be involved, Theresa. It’s my child too.” I just don’t know what this will mean for me and Cass. A baby is a massive responsibility.

Theresa gives me a shy smile. “I’m really pleased to hear that, Jaz.” She hesitates. “So…you and Cass. It’s really serious?”

“Yes,” I snap, waiting for her to doubt my feelings. But instead, Theresa breaks out in a huge smile again.

“This is so great!” she gushes.

“So you said.” I’m more than a little confused.

“Don’t you get it, Jaz? Cass knows family!”

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