Page 34 of Growing Into Love

I need to get a handle on myself.

“Thanks,” I say, taking a drink. My hand shakes as I try to close the cap. I can still feel the imprint of her kneecap on my palm.

We sink into silence, her head facing away from me, so I can’t tell if she’s awake or asleep. There’s a newness waking up inside me, a tendril of something sweet yet dangerous that I don’t want to name. Cass is so bold—bolder than I’ll ever be. I think back to Mrs. Pritz suggesting I go on a date with her. I dismissed it out of hand.

Fucking David. Wish I could see a picture of him. Know what he’s all about. He better be worthy of someone so fierce, so unapologetically herself.

Cass’s breathing evens out as she drifts off to sleep. I don’t feel tired in the slightest. An unfamiliar energy is thrumming through me. I know Del said I don’t have any responsibilities aside from keeping Cass away from Nigella. I start to ruminate on how exactly I could run that sort of interference. Only I don’t know Nigella personally—I’ve seen her ride and I’ve heard Cass’s stories about her. No matter what Declan asked of me, I want Cass to win this competition. Not just because of the money she needs to start the sanctuary, but to prove to her family that’s she capable. That she’s a person in her own right, with her own dreams to follow.

If David can treat her like and equal, I damned well can too.

NINE

CASS

The plane touchesdown at JFK and my stomach starts to squirm.

I’m in America. The Windy Acres Classic is actually happening. My sanctuary is within reach.

And I’m pretty sure Jaz got a boner on the plane last night.

I didn’t mean to pretend I was seeing someone but now I guess I’m dating Dentist David. I don’t know where that came from. Jaz was sounding so much like Declan, assuming I couldn’t possibly have a boyfriend or that I would sext, as if I’m still too young when I’m fucking twenty-eight. Just becausehehasn’t noticed I’ve grown up doesn’t mean other men haven’t. David wouldn’t treat me like a kid.

Okay, maybe my fake boyfriend is not the best way to prove I’m a grownup.

That bulge in Jaz’s jeans was anything but fake, though.

But as we taxi down the runway, all my thoughts turn to the competition.

“We made it!” I squeal.

“Gosh,” Jaz says, peering over my shoulder and sending a whiff of pine-and-leaf scent in my direction. “Never thought in my wildest dreams that I’d travel to America.”

I grab his hand and shake it pompously. “And a hearty congratulations to you, Dr. Taylor-Wexhall. Your wildest dreams have come true.”

He grins. “Why thank you, Madame Wright, it’s a pleasure to have been invited.”

“Technically you volunteered.”

He cocks his head. “I did, didn’t I.”

I laugh. I’m giddy. “This is really happening,” I say, bouncing in my seat.

Jaz’s smile softens. “It really is.”

Business Ham is brushing the crumbs from breakfast off his pinstripe suit. As the plane pulls up to the gate and the pilot turns off the seatbelt sign, he gets up to remove his briefcase from the overhead compartment.

“Best of luck at the competition,” he says to us with a nod.

“Thanks,” I say.

We file off the plane and walk through the enormous airport to the baggage claim. I’m in New York! The land of hopes and dreams and fashion and food and oh everything anyone could ever want. There’s a spring in my step as we head to get our bags.

“Everyone looks so fashionable, don’t they?” I say to Jaz. But he’s distracted, looking at his phone.

“Do you think there’s service here?” he asks. “I’d really like to check in with Clive.”

“There will definitely be service at the hotel,” I say. I put my hand on his shoulder. “Hey, thanks for coming. Really. I couldn’t have competed without you.”

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