Page 92 of Growing Into Love

“I understand,” I say fervently. “My mum died too. When I was only a baby.”

Daisy’s eyes fly open wide. “Really?”

I nod.

“It’s a shitty club to be in, isn’t it?” she says. “The Dead Parents Club.”

“It is,” I agree. I’ve never met anyone else whose mum has died before. At least, no one my age.

“Mom’s death was really hard on our family. It’s why Quinn left and Siobhan moved away. Now it’s just me and Finn and Alistair out here but…” She shrugs. “It’s not the same as it used to be.” She glances at me. “How did your mom die? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“She had cancer. Stopped the treatments to have me.”

It doesn’t hurt the way it used to, to say that out loud. That night crying to Jaz helped. I might not be a wild horse, but I allowed myself to process some of the grief out of me. To hold Mum in my heart without as much pain and blame.

“Oh, Cass,” she says. “How awful.”

“What about you?” I say. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Daisy bites her lip. “My mom was shot,” she says.

“What?” I cry. “I—oh my god—by who?”

“We don’t know. They never caught the guy.”

Jesus. It’s hard enough losing a parent, I can’t imagine losing one to murder. Americans and their guns. I’ll never understand it.

“Daisy, I’m so sorry,” I say.

Daisy takes a deep breath. “No, I’m the one who’s sorry. You’re here to enjoy a wine tasting, not listen to my sad family history.”

I know we only just met, but I can’t help sweeping her up in a huge hug.

“We’re in the same club, remember?” I whisper. “No need to apologize.”

“I’ve never talked to someone else who lost their mom before,” she says. “Except my siblings but they don’t like to talk about her.”

“Mine don’t either,” I confess.

She squeezes me tight then releases me. “Oh shoot, you’ve probably got to pee like crazy! Come on, let me show you to the bathroom.”

I take one last glance at the picture hanging on the wall, the red-haired woman smiling at the camera. We never know what direction our lives will take. We’ve got to seize the good moments when we can.

I think about Jaz, sitting outside, waiting for me.

I’ve grabbed my good moment and I’m not about to let it go.

Isla picksus up and we head back to the Thorn and Rose.

There’s a patio in the back of the inn overlooking the bay with tables set up and a large fire burning in a firepit. Jaz and I have more wine and nosh on the delicious bread pudding. We talk about our plans for the future, which right now means getting my sanctuary off the ground.

“I’ll get started the minute I get home,” I say, clapping my hands together. “It’s going to be brilliant. I’ve already picked out the perfect plot of land for the barn.” I blush and take a sip of wine. “And I think I’ve come up with a name for it too.”

“Really?” Jaz says, leaning forward to rest his chin on his hands. “Do tell.”

“I was thinking of calling it Sarah’s Sanctuary,” I say shyly. “This whole week, I’ve talked about Mum more than I have in years. And it didn’t make me sadder—it made me happy. I don’t want to walk on eggshells anymore. There’s no shame in grieving her or missing her. I want to talk to Dec and Virgil when we get back too. Hear any stories they might remember.”

Jaz’s eyes shine in the firelight. “I think that’s a brilliant idea,” he says.

---