Page 80 of Growing Into Love

CASS

I don’t thinkI’ve ever been this nervous in my life.

I lead Gal to the starting point to wait for the bell to ring. In one second that seems to last a lifetime, I scan the crowds and find the faces of my family. Declan’s words echo in the back of my mind:I believe in you.

I glance at Jaz. He gives me a nod. I take a deep breath.

The bell goes off.

Gal and I pound through the course, clearing the liverpool easily and heading to the first combination, a double. We make a meal of it, no faults to be had. I push down the nerves when we round toward jump seven, but Gal ignores the flowers as if she doesn’t even see them. I urge her faster, keeping my eye on the next combination and Jaz was right—I think I shave a few seconds off as we enter the triple. Then it’s a mad dash to the final jump and we clear it with ease. I hear Autumn scream my name as we careen through the finish and my time is announced on the board.

69.2 seconds. I’ve cut three seconds off the time allowed and set the fastest time yet! I’m in first place. I can’t believe it. My heart pummels against my ribs, drowning out the sounds of the crowd.

But of course, there’s one more rider left to jump. I see Nigella getting Prince into position for her run and dismount as Jaz flies up to me.

“That was fucking brilliant!” he cries, sweeping me into his arms. I’m shaking all over from adrenaline and nerves.

“We aren’t out of the woods yet,” I say.

“I don’t care about Nigella’s score,” Jaz says. “You should have seen yourself, Cass. I know your mum was out there with you.”

I grab his hand and squeeze it. I turn and watch as Nigella starts her run, Prince galloping to the jumps as fast as Gal. She nearly faults on the sixth jump, but Prince manages to keep his legs up. She hurtles through the combination, taking the final jump at top speed, and I watch the clock with my heart in my throat.

69.2 seconds.

Fucking. Trollop.

“Looks like we’re going to a jump off,” Jaz says.

I grab some water and wait for them to call me and Nigella back to the course. It seems like fate, almost, to have this end in a jump off with her.

I touch the gold studs at my ears for luck—they were Mum’s and I wanted her with me today. Then I mount Gal and raise my face to sky. I bring up my memory and decide it’s real. I’m my mum’s daughter and I’m going to make her proud. I remember the touch of her hair and the warmth of her smile. I let my love for her fill me up, steady my heart and calm my nerves. Though I can’t remember the sound of her voice, I hear her in my head plain as day.

You can do this Cass.

They call Nigella to the course first.

“All right, Gal,” I say, leaning over to pat her neck. Her ears twitch. “See Prince? He thinks he’s fast. But you’re faster. We’re going to leave his time in the dust, you got it?”

Gal whinnies and shakes her mane, snorting indignantly.

“That’s my girl,” I say.

Nigella sails over the last jump and I check the time.

68.9 seconds.

I grit my teeth and think of my family. How lucky I am to have so many people who support me. Who will love me no matter what happens on the course today. I think of Jaz and everything we’ve been through this week.

A fierce determination grips me.

“Cassandra Wright,” the announcer calls and I dig my heels into Gal’s side and head to the starting line.

The course spreads out before me, a jigsaw puzzle I’ve come to know so well. For one second, it feels as if everything goes still. The noises of the crowd, the hum of bees, the laughter of children, it all fades to a dull buzz. There’s only me, and Gal, and fourteen jumps.

The bell rings.

Gal takes off like a shot, like she knows this is our chance. It feels like there really are springs beneath her hooves, as Jaz once said—she sails over the jumps and hits her landings with ease and precision, so that it almost feels like I’m flying. We nail the double combination, crush the oxer with the flowers, then enter the triple faster than I thought possible. Gal destroys the combination, soaring over the jumps and galloping toward the final oxer and then…

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