Page 19 of Growing Into Love

“It was not.”

“I was trying to loosen you up.”

“I’m very loose.”

“No, you’re like a little spring winding itself tighter and tighter. I’ve never seen you so tense. Is it because of the competition?”

I stiffen. Autumn taps her chin with her finger.

“Okay,” she muses. “Not quite, but close. Are you upset about Del?”

I shrug and drop the shirt into the open suitcase.

“No, it’s not Del. Is it about Jaz coming with you?”

“Would you please stop poking your nose in?”

“Aha!” Autumn says triumphantly. “Jaz it is.”

“I don’t…I can’t…” I sink down onto the edge of my bed. I’m so damned tired and I don’t have it in me to keep secrets anymore.

“I’m in love with him,” I confess.

I chance a look at Autumn.

“Oh honey,” she says. “I know.”

My stomach does a great bellyflop. “You do?”

She grimaces. “It’s kind of obvious.”

“Itis?” I yelp. “Does Dec—”

“Oh god no, Declan hardly notices what’s going on with anyone unless they’ve got four legs.” She grins. “I only meant I’ve suspected for a while. Winter has too.”

“Great,” I mutter. “Now I’m even more embarrassed.”

Autumn frowns. “Why should you be embarrassed? We never judge and we didn’t want to pry. There’s no shame in loving someone. And Jaz is a terrific guy. I think you’d make an amazing couple.”

“You do?” I ask, feeling this night turn from bleak to hopeful in the span of a sentence.

“Of course! I’ve been wondering when you might come around to telling me.”

“I’ve never told anyone. Except Zara.”

“Well, now’s the perfect chance to tellhim! You guys will be alone together for a week. And I bet it’s beautiful at Windy Acres. Very romantic.”

She waggles her eyebrows at me.

“But that’s the problem,” I say. “I already told him.”

At that, Autumn’s eyes pop and her mouth falls open. “When?” she gasps.

I explain about the accidental sext. I didn’t think her eyes could get any wider, but now I can see whites all around her green irises.

“Oh, Cass,” she says. She hesitates. “Can I see it?”

“Why not,” I say morosely. “I’ve lost all my dignity anyway.”

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