Page 7 of Scoring with the Coach's Daughter

I loved how he took me by surprise. He owned the moment and he made me want to feel again.

It’s painfully obvious to me that I’ve been sitting on the sidelines for years. I hate to admit it but my mother made a great point. I’ve been hiding behind Ellie because, well—it’s safe. The fact Ellie has mentioned Jake a few times today tells me she’s ready forsomeone to join us.

Truth be told, Ellie should have a dad or a father figure in her life. She has so much ahead of her like father-daughter dances, and a father would be someone to teach her how to ride a bike and play sports. I was speechless watching her and Jake interact today. I marveled at how fast they just clicked—like a gear on a windup watch.

He made an impression on her, too. And I don’t know how I feel about that. Am I ready to share her with someone else? I’m compelled to protect her from the world. I never want her to be sad over losing someone again—but there’s more to it. I don’t need a shrink to decipher what’s in my subconscious.

I have a bad history. First, Ellen died, and then my boyfriend, Rob, left. The people I love tend to leave. And that’s why I have rules.

I stick to the rules because I don’t want to get hurt. Losing my sister was difficult and deep down inside of me, I think I can prevent a disaster by controlling events. Let’s face facts, being in control means I’ve minimized the risk of the unknown. I am overly protective of Ellie and if I’m being honest—myself.

I roll onto my side and stare at the bright orange moon out the window. I should be packing—we’re leaving for the airport tomorrow—but my mind keeps circling back to Jake.

The way his voice sounded when he spoke to Ellie—low and warm—as if he was sharing a secret that was only meant for her. The way Ellie laughed when he tossed the football with her struck a chord in me. It reminded me of evening tosses with my dad.

Jake and Ellie shared the same camaraderie today. It was like she’d known him forever. Seeing the two of them together moved me. It’s also caused me to doubt my hands-off approach to dating.

I sigh, hugging the fluffy pillow to my chest. It would’vebeen so easy to stand on that porch and let myself hope—just for a second—that someone like Jake could fit into our lives.

But that’s not how things work. I have Ellie to think about. I can’t afford to let my guard down, not with her watching me, and not when there’s so much at stake.

I’m not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to love again.

Still, as I drift off to sleep, one thought keeps creeping into my mind and that is the fact that I’m leaving for Cherry Point tomorrow with it, any possibility of seeing him again.

I fell into a fitful sleep because Jake stirred feelings inside me that I’d put on ice. I shelved my lust, desire, and frankly, my single life after Rob left.

Not that I had men lined up to date me. Cherry Point is a small town with limited resources, and available men are at the top of that list. Sure, I wonder what life would be like if I moved to Maine but Ellie and I have a simple life. It’s filled with friends and our routine, albeit, one that doesn’t include me having a boyfriend or city lights.

Ellie was three when her mother died and she regressed into younger stages of development for a few months. I’m sure keeping her near me instead of going to daycare helped us bond. In time, I became her protector and together we embarked on a new beginning. And not much has changed except for the fact that Ellie has grown. I fall to sleep replaying Jake’s kiss.

***

I wake before the crack of dawn and make my way to the overly bright and freshly renovated kitchen. I blink to ease my eyes open before I make a pot of coffee.

Dad is up first.

“Good morning, Sam. What are youdoing up so early?”

“It’s difficult to sleep in a strange bed.” I can’t tell him that thoughts of Jake were the real reason.

“Is it that or the fact every single player in the room had his eyes on you last night?”

I blush fifteen shades of red— none of them look pretty on me. “I didn’t notice,” I lie.

“You should consider dating. Ellie won’t break, you know. You won’t either.”

“I know.”

“Well, I know your mother would love to see you settled.”

“I am,” I make air quotes, “settled.”

He wants to say more, but for the moment, he’s refrained from making one to make me talk.

I seize the moment to make my case. “I’m fine. Ellie is fine. Would it be nice to have someone? I suppose. I’m just not ready.”

“Fine,” he replies before taking a sip of his coffee. Then Dad says, “You’re wonderful, I just want you to have everything.”

---