Page 62 of Scoring with the Coach's Daughter

And now he’s gone.

I rub my hands over my face, trying to push away the sick feeling creeping through me. He wouldn’t just leave, right? Would he leave us over one confrontation?

But isn’t that what people do when they get tired of repeating themselves?

I swallow hard, as I climb out of bed. The house is eerily quiet, the only sound is the faint hum of the fridge as I make my way to the kitchen. No Jake. I half hoped Jake got up before me and that I’d find him in the kitchen flipping pancakes. But no, the kitchen is lacking humans. There’s no warm coffee in the pot either. This isn’t good. We love our caffeinated mornings.

I’m greeted with … silence.

And I don’t like it. In fact, I hate it, especially today when I don’t know where Jake and I stand.

I don’t like the way my chest feels tight or the way I’m already missing him wondering if I blew this.

Why do I have to speak my mind? Why do I overreact? I’m sure it’s linked to the trauma of my sister’s accident. But that was two years ago and I have to let Jake be a part of Ellie’s life and make decisions for her if we’re to work. I get that—now.

Because he is right.

Not about everything. Not about me “killing the joy” in Ellie’s life, but about the way I guard her so fiercely, and how I scrutinize everyone who gets close. I’m fearful others won’t be good enough for her and with her. But I realize that we’re all different and Jake’s approach might be different than mine but it doesn’t make it wrong.

It’s not that I think no one’s good enough. It’s that I can’t trust others with someone so precious to me.

And the fact that I know how fast life can spin out of control. I know what devastation looks like and I never want Ellie to go through that again.

Jake is not the wrong person. I want him, I want us. I just don’t know if I can leap into the sunset with him.

But I’m smart enough to know that if I don’t find a way to meet him halfway, I could lose him. Not just him—but what we could have.

And that’s the scariest thought of all.

I hear Ellie’s footsteps behind me. They’re—light, and hesitant, It’s like she’s walking on eggshells. Her shoulders are slumped like she’s unsure of what she’ll encounter. No man has ever been here like Jake. And she’s invested in him. Last night was like watching her parents fight even if she didn’t hear us, she could feel the tension between us. And she knows I was upset.

When she rounds the corner and strolls into the kitchen, she’s still in her pajamas, her hair is messy from sleep, and her stuffed lion Jake won for her is tuckedunder her arm.

She only cuddles her stuffed animals if she’s feeling insecure.

“Hey, sweetie,” I say softly, kneeling to her level. “How are you?”

“Fine.”

I pour myself coffee. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“I don’t care,” she sulks. “Where’s Jake?”

Good question. Where is he indeed?

“He had plans this morning.” I lie, hoping he didn’t leave forever.

She gives me a side-eye and I realize she probably doesn’t believe me.

Hell. Do I even believe it myself? No.

“I’ll make waffles and bacon.”

Ellie sits at the counter and lays her head on it.

“You were up late last night,” I begin, alluding to the fact she skipped her normal bedtime.

“Yeah,” she mumbles, staring at the door, and then they fall to her hands.

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