Page 14 of Sinful Promise

When I wake, the apartment is quiet. I stir and sit up, rubbing my eyes. A new dress is hanging on a hook on the back of the door. What is this? I don’t normally get gifts unless it’s my birthday or Christmas. My birthday isn’t until August.

I throw the bed covers back and sprint to the dress, running my fingers over the gauzy material. Could this be a summer dress? It’s rather fancy. The flowing sleeves have slits in the material so they will billow in a breeze. It’s floor-length, but I can hem it if necessary. Why white, though? Papa knows I love to wear blue.

“Papa,” I holler, opening the door and entering the living area.

“What?” he barks, clutching a coffee cup. His fingernails are dirty, and his knobby knuckles make his hands look more like claws.

“The dress, what’s it for?”

Papa puts his cup down and takes my hands in his. The smell of last night’s booze is still on him. He’s hungover. I can tell by his bloodshot eyes.

“You’re marrying Andrian today. It’s been arranged for some time. I couldn’t tell you before,” he says without looking at me.

What a coward.

“No,” I whisper in disbelief, pulling my hands free. I take a step back, then another.

“Dasha, it’s necessary. I pulled an unsanctioned job, and Andrian is pissed at me. This will make it right. You don’t want me to get hurt, do you?”

He sounds pathetic, but how are his problems suddenly mine? He can’t take care of himself. A marriage to Andrian will mean a lifetime of this. I’ll never be free, and the nightmare will never end. I won’t be able to live on my own or fall in love or go to another country. Andrian will have me flat on my back, popping out kids. The thought of him between my legs makes me shiver.

Andrian’s beady, reptilian eyes are creepy. He’s a corrupt government official in bed with my father and others who do his dirty work. I hate him for keeping the status quo in our country. I want to leave here so badly, but I have no idea how to get out of Minsk, let alone Belarus.

I bolt from the room, slam my bedroom door, and call Katsia.

“Katsia, Papa has arranged for me to marry Andrian—today.”

“No way. How can he even do that? What the hell is going on?”

“I don’t know. He says he’s in trouble, but honestly, it was just a matter of time before Andrian got something on him. The way he was leering at me last night made my skin crawl.”

“What are you going to do? You can’t marry him. Everyone knows he’s mean and morally bankrupt, and he’ll have you watched every second of every day. If you think your life is a prison now, it will only get worse. Plus, he surrounds himself with an unsavory group of men, and not just your family.”

“I know. But what can I do? I have nowhere to go,” I wail, feeling desperate and defeated. “Leaving the country is the only way I can get out of this.” I slump onto my bed, clutching a pillow to my chest, and burst into tears.

Katsia’s silence confirms my worst fears. There is no way around this. Andrian will look for me. He has the means to hunt me down. He has connections in other countries, and he knows powerful people. He can have my father thrown into prison on trumped-up charges.

I cry because I don’t have a mother to protect me. I cry because my brothers helped Papa, and they would be implicated if Papa went down for a crime. It’s no use calling them for help. They’ve been traveling to Russia and other countries for years, and I know they’ve moved illegal items around for our government. I hear them talk about guns, and they have numerous phones and secret meetings, though what about, I don’t know.

Andrian is not involved in their daily operations, but he’s connected to some degree. Never in public, but he comes to our house to socialize…or maybe to see me. How long has he had his eye on me?

The men in this family always put themselves first. The only thing they will miss when I’m gone is my cooking and cleaning. They’re bullies, and even if they could help me, they won’t.

“There must be something you can do,” Katsia says. “I’m so sorry, Dasha. What can I do to help?”

“Nothing,” is all I can say. We both know how this works. “Your family’s life would be in jeopardy if you helped me. I can’t do that to you.” I sniffle and wipe my nose on the sleeve of my nightgown.

“Fuck!” she exclaims, surprising me.

I chuckle. “You’ve never cursed in your life.”

“I know. But this is preposterous. I’m beside myself. I should be there with you.”

“There’s nothing anyone can do for me. I’m like a fatted calf going to the slaughter.”

“He never said anything about this until today?”

“Right. He said he couldn’t bring himself to tell me. No wonder Andrian was so smug last night. They’ve been working this deal out for some time.”

---