Page 30 of Sunshine & Sinful

I float into myself. Introspective. Calming.

Zen.

The universe is warm.

I’m warm. Full of love. Of life.

None of this matters.

Everything will be okay.

When I return to myself—to the real world—I reopen my eyes, and they’re met with striking grays latching onto mine. The slightest grin ticks up the side of his mouth. We stare at each other, into each other, not speaking, just feeling.

This is what I missed.

How many times have we sat on this very couch with my feet on his lap and did nothing but be together? Hundreds of times.

He pinches my big toe playfully, and I smile.

Sunshine returns the sentiment, flashing a line of perfect teeth. The lines around his eyes crinkle, makinghim all the sexier. He scratches his bearded jaw shyly and winks.

Returning to his chair with a heavy drop, Dark makes an annoyed sound, then clears his throat. “Are we about done eye fucking for the day?” he grumbles and shoves a giant bite of cold waffle into his maw. His cheeks round as he chews, and I roll my eyes at his ridiculous comment.

Eye fucking? Hardly. He’s just an asshole.

Sunshine pinches my big toe again. “Later,” he whispers—a promise.

Sure, we’ll talk about whatever this islater.

But first, we need to discuss Todd and figure out what to do because I need a plan for handling my boy—ex-boyfriend. I also need to find out who the elusive man hiring these stalkers is. If there even is one.

TEN

Lily yawns and snuggles into the crook of Grandpa’s arm, wearing her cutest unicorn pajama set. Flashing me a soft smile, Sunshine pecks the top of her head as I drape my blanket over Lily’s lap and turn down the volume on the television. Our little one is tired. Any minute now, she’ll be out for the count, and Sunshine will do what he always does on nights like this—carry her upstairs to her brother’s old bedroom and meet me in our bedroom once he’s done. It’s a ritual. Entirely predictable, but one of my favorite things when he's here.

Dealing with Dark today was taxing, as it oftentimes is. The stubborn man wouldn’t leave, even after we devised a plan to handle Todd. Not even after he watched me text said man for a lunch date tomorrow. Or after Lily showed up to hang out. He lingered until dinnertime. Once the pizza was delivered from a local shop with the best chicken bacon ranch pie in the entire state, Dark set off to do whatever Dark does. I’m hoping that entails talking to his longtime girlfriend and either working their shit out orbreaking things off. I’m secretly hoping for the latter. I wasn’t lying when I said Abby deserves better. Sure, we’ve never hit it off. I was the wife. She’s always kept me at arm’s length, which is fine. I try not to take it too personally. But that doesn’t change the fact that I want her to be happy. She deserves better.

Once he left, old routines fell into place as they always do when Sunshine’s here. We watched movies with Lily. Goofed around. Drank tea. It’s as if nothing’s changed when almost everything has.

“I’m gonna take her to bed in a few,” he whispers over Lily’s head, trying not to disturb her.

“Don’t want to sleep.” Lily yawns. Her eyelids flutter open for half a beat before they slam shut again. The poor girl hasn’t spent much time with Pops in months and is determined to make the most of it. But I know he’s kept in touch. She told me as much.

We both grin at her adorableness as Sunshine reaches out and pushes the back of two of his fingers across the side of my neck. I shiver despite not wanting to.

“We’ve got a lot to talk about, Sweets,” he explains, keeping his voice low.

“We do,” I agree.

We sit in silence, passing stolen glances at each other until we’re convinced Lily is out for the count. When Sunshine scoops our little turd into his arms and carries her up the stairs like she’s a princess, I collect our empty cups and the popcorn bowl and carry them into the kitchen. The popcorn kernels are dumped in the receptacle as the cups are rinsed and set on the top rack of the dishwasher to run later.

Chewing the inside of my cheek, I wipe down the counters and wait for him to return. A nervous ball of twine tumbles uncomfortably in my gut, scratching away at the delicate bits, making my nerves ratchet up more and more as the seconds pass. Before long, the thud of his bare heels descending the stairs sends a tremor of unease through my bones.

We’re going to have this talk.

I don’t know what he’ll say or what I’ll say, but we’re not sweeping this under the rug. I’m equally excited and petrified by this.

Reaching the main floor, Sunshine’s eyes meet mine from across the kitchen island. He nods toward the closed bedroom door, wordlessly asking if I’m ready to do this. The answer is a big, resoundingno. I’m not ready.

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