Page 12 of Sunshine & Sinful

Fuck.

I shake my head. “Lily.”

She waggles her dark eyebrows just like her father. “Todd will be speechless.” She lays it on thick as if I care what Todd thinks. I also don’t have the heart to tell her Todd is already speechless half the time when we’re together. If he’s not staying on safe topics, he’s a nervous, bumbling mess that I find more endearing than annoying. That’s why I keep the nice man around.

“Is this because I showed youPretty Womanlast month?” I sweep my hand down my side and do another small turn.

Lily’s nose crinkles. “You’re not a prostitute, Kali. You’re a lady.”

Oh, boy.

I drag a palm down my face and sigh. That’s not whatI meant. I was talking about the dress, not the character. Yes, I showed an eight-year-oldPretty Woman. She’s mature for her age. I even explained the parts to her she didn’t quite understand and covered her eyes on the sexier bits. Lily’s slowly moving away fromCoralineand into a swoony romance phase. I expected it to hit her in middle school, but she’s been asking for more romance as time passes. Once I showed herRunaway Bride, she’s been on a Julia Roberts kick ever since.

“Prostitutes are also ladies,” I explain. “Sometimes people do things to survive. They’re doing the best they can, and that’s all we can expect from anybody. Right?”

Taken aback by my mom talk, a wrinkle forms between Lily’s brows. “Yes. Right.” She nods. “I didn’t mean it likethat.” Falling onto her butt on the mattress, she crosses her legs.

“Okay. I’m just making sure we’re on the same page.”

She nods again, clearly troubled by my assumption. I run the tips of my fingers along the lacey edge of the dress. This isn’t going to work. I can’t even bend over in this thing without giving everyone a vagina show, and while I shaved tonight because it’s date night, and that typically leads to bedroom time, this outfit is too much.

I reach for the zipper again, and Lily claps. “Kali.”

Grumbling beneath my breath, I pause with the toggle pinched between two fingers. “What?”

“Why don’t you feel beautiful?” Lily’s eyes round in question, her tulip lips drawing into a straight, unimpressed line as she awaits a valid answer.

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, dropping the zipper to shrug.

Because I don’t know.

Maybe I don’t want to feel pretty right now. I haven’t worn much makeup as of late. I rarely do my hair. Everything I washed and put away this week were black leggings and random oversized shirts.

“You’re sad,” she observes, much like Till, only it stings a little more when it’s a child calling you out on your crap.

Chewing the inside of my cheek, I cross both arms over my chest. “I don’t know what I am,” I admit, tapping my bare foot on the hardwood floor.

“Mom’s sad, too. It’s okay to be sad. But Todd makes you smile, and he’s nice to us. I think you should wear something nice for your date. He’ll like your dress. It’s awesome.” A sweet smile quirks at the corner of the wise girl's lips, and I… fine. She wins. Todd is nice. I am sad. He will like this dress. I suppose it isn’t so bad. It is nicely made. Sunshine did buy it for me. What can it hurt?

Dramatically huffing, I relent and slap my bare feet like a petulant toddler all the way into the bathroom, where I get an official look at myself in the mirror. Alright. I don’t look all that bad.

I cup my hands beneath both of my gravity-wounded breasts and force them into place, nips out. In the drawer, I riffle through my mound of makeup to the bottom and find the boob tape to use for this occasion. The wrapper is still on, but it doesn’t take long to tape what needs to be tapped and keep what needs in place, with sticky stuff that won’t be sexy to remove when the naughty time comes.Ifit comes.

“Lily,” I call. “Are you picking makeup, or am I?”

Fussing with my hair by pinning it into a sultry updo, with wisps left tickling my neck, much like the whole Julia Roberts,Pretty Woman-vibe, but the red dress hairstyle this time, I gesture to the open makeup drawer when Lily races into the room, her bare feet slapping hard against the tiled floor.

“Me,” she crows excitedly, digging through what I own.

I step to the side to give her space to work her magic. What’s the worst that can happen? I feel out of place. So, what? It wouldn’t be a first. I don’t care much about that kind of stuff. Awkwardness loses its charm once you’ve worked in the places I have, on the jobs I have for the club. You learn to fake it ‘til you make it. A brave smile can move mountains in the right setting.

Wanting to keep every strand of hair in place, I aerosol the crap out of it. Not enough to make it crunchy, but enough that a breeze won’t move it much.

Humming to herself, Lily sets her entire arsenal of makeup options on the counter.

“Smokey eye?” I ask, noting the pallets of darker eyeshadows she has out.

“Sure.” Lily opens a handful of lipsticks to select the perfect one, and as she does that, I get to work with my face.

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