Page 4 of Pain Run Rampant

Hmm. Maybe I should go talk to Frederick. He’s smart, and maybe he’ll know how to switch my magic back on. I mean, let’sbe real: I’m not much of an empress, high or not, without magic. I need my magic back.

I need it in case that vision comes true and I have to face down another ancient evil.

One thing at a time though.

I decide to hike back to Laconia. With no magic to get me moving faster, it’s not exactly a short walk, but I’ve been across the kingdom and back again what feels like a million times, so at least I’m not out of breath when I approach Laconia’s open gate.

They keep it open now so the farmers can come and go while trying to ready the cliffsides outside of Laconia’s thick, high walls to be farmed once again.

The guards nod at me as I walk in, and I give them nods back. I tried ignoring them once and felt weird about it afterward; I didn’t want them thinking I thought I was better than them or something. Still, they’re not the only ones who bow their heads to me when I walk by. Damn near everybody in the city does it.

I go to Frederick’s hut and don’t find him there, which means he’s probably helping out somewhere—which is what I do when I’m not sitting and trying to reconnect to my magic. Making myself useful around here helps me get my mind off things. Plus, there is tons to do. The list will never end.

I spend a while searching the markets for Frederick, but when I finally spot him, I find him in the cemetery, helping to herd the animals out of that section in the city. Now that you won’t die immediately outside the city walls, the animals can have their own pasture again.

I lean on the wall that separates the cemetery from the rest of the city and watch as Frederick tries to get a rather lazy sheep to get up with the rest of the herd. He’s forty-ish feet away, sweat lining his brow, his brown hair tinted gold from the sun, and the facial expression he wears is one of frustration.

He’s obviously not someone who deals with stubborn animals often. It’s clear he doesn’t know what to do. He tries to nudge the sheep’s butt, but the sheep acts as though it doesn’t even feel him. Frederick then claps his hands—and yields no results. He then drops to his knees and tries to force the animal onto its feet, but the sheep remains on the grass near some headstones, unbothered.

Frederick’s cheeks are flushed, and he gets to his feet and wipes off the sweat from his brow. It’s right then he spots me, and he abandons the stubborn sheep to come over to me, an easy smile on his face.

His amber eyes sparkle with reflecting sunlight. “How much of that did you see?” His clothes are muddied, like he’s been wrestling animals all day.

“Enough,” I tell him. “I don’t think you’re very good with animals. People, yes, but animals? Not so much.”

He leans in to whisper, “It’s not me. It’s these damned sheep! They won’t listen to anybody—” It’s literally as he says that that the shepherd of the flock waves at the stubborn sheep, and without further prompting, the sheep stands. “—okay, maybe they simply don’t like me.”

I chuckle softly. “I can’t imagine why. I think you’re likable.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, and I have to look away from Frederick the moment I say them.

I’ve been helping around when I can, yes, but I’ve also made sure to do things Frederick wasn’t. Not because I’m scared to talk to him, but because… well, I wanted to avoid him a bit. Guess I am a little anxious to talk with him.

The man was seconds from confessing his love for me before the fight with Invictis, and I’m still not ready to hear it. I don’t know if I will ever be. Unfortunately for me, this whole magic thing needs to be handled sooner rather than later, and since he’s the only one I trust here, well… I’m out of options.

Frederick must sense my unease, because he doesn’t linger on what I said. “Were you looking for me, or did you just happen to walk by when I was making a fool of myself?” Even when he’s making self-depreciating jokes, he sounds earnest.

God, he makes it impossible to hate him. How annoying.

“I was hoping to get your help with something,” I say, glancing around. No one stands near us, so no one can overhear what we’re talking about. I would prefer to do it in private, but a part of me is worried that if we go to his hut, he’ll try to confess his love again.

And I don’t know that I’m strong enough to resist. What I do know is that I’ve never had a real relationship before. I don’t know how they look, how they work… and besides that, no matter what I’m doing or who I’m with, Invictis is always in the back of my head.

“Of course,” Frederick is quick to say. “Anything you need.” He breathes harder than normal; helping out the shepherds must’ve really taxed him. He stands about eight inches taller than me, which puts his face much closer to mine than Invictis’s, and it’s harder for me to ignore the worried squint in his gaze as he studies me closely.

I fiddle with my hands. “I—” Fuck. I should’ve practiced how to say it. It doesn’t feel like something I should just blurt out with no warning; I’m not telling him I got an A on my last paper. I’m telling him my magic is gone.

“I…” I say again, and a second time I stop myself.

“You…” Frederick starts. “You what?” The way he stares at me makes me feel some kind of way. Uncomfortable. He looks at me like I’m the most important person in the world, so how can I tell him that, somehow, my magic is broken?

The nerves become too much and I end up blurting out, “I was hoping you could tell me who makes good clothes around here.”

Frederick appears taken aback, but only for a moment. His gaze dips low, taking in my clothes. “Ah, yes, you have been wearing the same clothes since I first saw you.” He starts to reach for my shirt, where the dried blood is now black on the fabric from when Invictis stabbed me, but at the last second, he pulls back, as if remembering he shouldn’t touch me or my clothes.

Hey, I’ve been washing them… as best I can. There’s only so much I can do without a washing machine, you know? Or soap.

“There is a tailor in the upper district,” Frederick says. “I don’t know how much fabric he has available, but we can go talk to him.” Thankfully he doesn’t reach for my hand or anything like that; I don’t think I’d have the willpower to pull away.

As I walk with Frederick through the city, I know I’ll have to come clean sometime—not only about the magic thing, but about Invictis, too. I just don’t know how. I’m good with confrontation, but those heavy-weighted conversations? Not so much. Those aren’t my forte.

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