Page 22 of Pain Run Rampant

It’s a lot of confused hatred, let’s just say.

The hand that danced along my jaw falls to my neck, where it curls around my throat even though it has no business being there or doing that. “Perhaps I had you to myself for so long, your attention solely on me, that seeing you give some of that attention to that fool made me a little…” He lets out a long breath. “…murderous.”

Invictis stands, and just like that I’m reminded of how tall this form is, how much he dwarfs me in every capacity. “Perhaps I have been stuck in this blasted form for too long that I am being tainted by senseless mortal emotions.”

His voice lowers to a bare whisper when he finishes, “Perhaps I want you.”

My breath catches, and suddenly it’s so hard for me to breathe. Not because of the hand around my neck—it’s not tight. It doesn’t choke me. It’s merely a reminder of who stands before me, practically baring his soul… if he has a soul to speak of—but because I can’t believe this. I can’t believe any of this.

“You’re a manipulator,” I whisper. “You’ll say anything to get what you want, and I know the only thing you want is to be set free and unbound. You’ll say and do anything to weaken my resolve against you.” I pull his hand from my neck and take a step back. “Everything you say is a lie.”

Invictis stares at me, and I stare right back.

Holding my head high, I command him, “Tell me the truth.”

The smirk that grows on his face is answer enough, and I can feel my anger rising, the hatred for this asshole returning tenfold. The hatred inside me is almost loud enough it nearly drowns out what he says.

And what does he say?

“For once, Rey, I spoke only the truth.”

The wind is knocked out of me, and I turn away and give him my back so I can work on calming down. “No fucking way. You’re… you’re lying. I don’t know how, but you are.”

“For someone so quick to rub jealousy in my face, you are obstinate when faced with the entire truth. Tell me, why is it you’re willing to believe I’m jealous but you are so unwilling to believe me when I say I want you in ways I’ve never wanted anything before?”

I whirl around. “Because you’re a liar! Frederick’s a liar! You’re both liars.” My shoulders go up and down once in a pathetic shrug. “Why? Why would anyone… the only thing special about me was my magic, and now that’s gone. I’m back to being stupid Rey who can’t handle her life. I’m back to fucking drowning.”

How can I believe anyone when they say they want me, when they say they care about me? Everyone’s out for themselves and nothing more; it’s a lesson I learned a long time ago and it has stuck with me throughout the years. It’s not like I can fall in love and everything will change.

Nothing changes, because people don’t change.

Invictis speaks with an authority he shouldn’t have, especially when it comes to me, “You were broken by the death of your father and the events that followed. You don’t believe you’re whole. You don’t believe you’re worth anything.”

I let out an ugly laugh. “So what? What does it matter if that’s what I believe? Isn’t that what you said to me before, back when you were trying to kill me every chance you had? I’m worthless. I’m pathetic. I’m nothing.”

He takes a single step toward me, but he can’t take any more because I say, “Stop.”

So he does, because he has to. “Order me to tell you the truth.”

I don’t want to. I don’t want to hear a single word he says. It isn’t like I value his opinion or anything—he’s the whole reason we’re in this mess to begin with, a mass-murdering psycho who’s nothing more than an apocalypse on two legs.

And yet I whisper again, way shakier this time, “Tell me the truth.”

Invictis does not hesitate. Though he cannot take any more steps closer to me, he launches into a mini-speech all the same, “You are not pathetic. You are not nothing. You are worthy. You are strong. Stronger than every empress that came before you. Stronger than the sum of everyone in Laconia. You are—” He pauses as he looks away for a split second. “—everything. If I must lose, then there is no one else I would rather lose to.”

“I thought you were Mr. Inevitable?” Making a joke is the only thing I can do, given how his words make me feel: like Iwant to go to him, bury my face against him and feel his arms surround me. Like I want to kiss him like I kissed Frederick earlier. Like I want so much more than that.

“Perhaps the only inevitable thing was not my eternal victory, but that you would come.”

It’s a moment before I whisper, “Where do we go from here?”

“For the first time, I do not know, but I think it’s time to wake up.”

His words are the last thing I hear before the dream ends and I’m forced to reckon with that conversation while I’m awake.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more confused in my life than I am right now.

Chapter Eleven

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