Page 86 of Revenge

It's temporary for a year and is it so bad? You'll have more money that you know what to do with, a handsome husband and you'll have your safety.

But you will never have Kai’s heart.

Kai would make sure of all those things.

There was a worry that having a sexual relationship with him would complicate things too much but how could I resist? Women ruled with their hearts and men with their bodies. To Kai, it would be sex but to me, it would be so much more.

Shit. I needed to keep my head on my shoulders; both physically and figuratively.

Remember he is keeping you here against your will, blackmailing you.

And that was the truth that I seemed to keep forgetting. I didn't have my freedom, the one thing I wanted more than anything; the right to choose for myself. Even in Milan, I hadn't felt free, the constant moving around, looking over my shoulder, the guilt at what I had done. And I meant because I had shot Kai, I didn’t care about sending his now-dead father to prison. He had deserved that and more.

Dragging my gaze away from the girl in the glass, I stepped into my shoes. Suki had left me around an hour ago so she could get ready. I walked over to the window and glanced down into the gardens.

It was so pretty. Fairy lights hung in the trees and a large marquee tent was set up. Clusters of guests were already circling the area; like sharks searching for blood.

I stood there and allowed the classical music from below to soothe my senses. I could do this.

I thought about Kai, my soon-to-be husband. What the heck? Under different circumstances, the old me would have been doing cartwheels of joy around the room. And why wasn't I? Because this match was orchestrated for business;appearancesonly. There was also the worry that I was signing my death warrant by tying myself to a mafia boss. Although, the rule between rival families was that women and children were not part of the deal. Anyone crossing that line paid for it tenfold. It was part of the understanding, almost like prisoners of war. That wasn’t to say itdidn’thappen, women being taken to force a boss's hand.

I wasn’t worried though, if there was one thing I trusted Kai with it was my safety.

Being with Kai again had brought back all those old feelings I had buried.

But he will never love you, he isn't capable of love. Just like his father.

Gerard hadneverloved Suki, she had been an obsession, one that eventually went bad. I didn't want that for myself. I dreamt of a happy ever after, what girl didn't? I was almost twenty and yet felt like I hadn't experienced anything real.

Those words from the boy who saved me from the bullies came back into my thoughts;one day, I promise you, you will find your happy ever after.

Drawing away from the window I walked to the mirror and checked for creases in my dress.Happy ever afters; chance would be a fine thing.

You want your freedom but you want Kai too.I pushed away the foolish, ‘cake and eat it’ thought.

My hair was half up and half down, falling in soft waves down my back, almost to my waist. Lily, a make-up artist my mother used had done my face beautifully, the red shade of lipstick matched the satin dress perfectly.

The gown was figure-hugging, leaving my shoulders bared and it ran the full length of my body. It reminded me of the dress Jessica Rabbit wore, a cartoon character from a movie I’d watched growing up. I didn’t look as sexy as her in my dress though, not enough cleavage but I felt good. Gold strappy sandals and a matching clutch finished my outfit off. And then there was my ring. The sapphire glittered brightly on my finger; a stunning contrast to the red nail polish I was wearing.

Touching up my lipstick, I placed it in my bag and set off for the door. I called for my mother but it appeared she’d already gone downstairs. Cillian answered in just a towel. His hair was wet from the shower. I looked away, embarrassmentstingingmy cheeks. For an old timer, the guy was ripped. His body was chiselled with muscle and scars,loadsof them. I wondered how he explainedthoseto my mother.

“Susannah is already downstairs. She wanted to check everything was in place,” he explained, showing no concern that he stood before the daughter of the woman he was banging half-naked.

“OK, thanks. Aren’t you coming?”

He smiled, something he rarely did to anyone other than my mother, “Yes. But not as a guest, I’m on duty tonight.”

“Oh, OK. Well, I’ll see you down there.”

There was an awkward beat of silence and I took that as my signal to leave. Just as I was turning, Cillian’s words stopped me.

“Ava, we don’t know each other well and that’s probably for the best. But I just wanted to say you’ve made your mother very happy by staying in London,” he said as I turned back to face him.

Swallowing, I digested his words, “I know. But you know it’s only temporary right?”

A twinge of guilt darted through me. I shouldn’t have said that but I didn’t want my mother to get her hopes up. Once the sham was over, I’d leave, wouldn’t I?

Sadness at that thought pooled into my gut and my eyes flickered back to Cillian’s. He was watching me with a keen interest.

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