Page 62 of Revenge

“I know, I remember. You were a clingy little thing.”

“Is that why you pushed me away? I was too much for you?” I asked, taking another sip of wine.

I chewed the inside of my mouth, remembering what Kai had said in the gym the other night. He’d admitted that he’d messed up our relationship by being a dick to me.

He must have read my mind as he said, “Why do youthinkI pushed you away all those years ago.”

And now we were getting somewhere. “I know why. You didn’t want to be close to me, to anyone. I didn’t realise that then but I get it now.”

“You had too many expectations, Ava. It was better for you to keep my distance.”

I shook my head, “Better for me, you’re wrong. You left me alone, exposed.”

A silence stretched between us as Kai’s expression became pained. It only lasted a few seconds before it switched to a look of empathy.

At that moment I had a flashback of myself as a little girl; upset and alone,hidingat my mother’s wedding. Memories of a young boy who had saved me. Hidden with me so the bullies wouldn’t find me. We ate cream cakes together.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” his apology rocked me from my past into the present.

What the actual fuck?

Those words leaving Kai’s mouth made me feel like I was running into oncoming traffic. Was he saying he believed me about Gerard? And then his next words confirmed that.

“I know what my father did and I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

A cocktail of emotion swirled through me, “You’re sorry?”

“More than you couldeverknow,” he replied stiffly. I could tell that Kai struggled with apologies which didn’t surprise me.

My breath whooshed from my body as Kai tensed and a growl fell from his lips.

“Motherfucker,” he snarled.

Like lightning, Kai snatched up the kitchen knife from the chopping board and threw it. I reared back as the blade flew past my face, turning to watch its journey. The knife stuck in the centre of a newspaper article attached to a corkboard on the far wall. The grainy picture showed Gerard as he was being arrested. The blade rested in the centre of his father’s head.

I gasped and slid from the chair, looking from the knife to Kai, he was leaning with his palms flat on the counter with his head bent over.

“Kai?” I questioned. The words left my mouth like vapour. Anger rolled off him in waves and I felt a twinge of fear.

The pan with the spaghetti started to boil over, dragging him out of his daze.

His expression was tortured, “Please, take a seat,” Kai said gruffly, motioning towards the table.

Moving away, I lowered myself onto one of the chairs, wide-eyed as Kai used the tea towel from his shoulder to take the pan off the burners.

I’d lost my appetite as the atmosphere changed in the kitchen; the memory of Gerard tainting the air. It made me feel sad. But raking up the past had always done that and part of me wished he hadn’t said anything.

But he’s apologised and accepted he was wrong. You should be happy.

So why wasn’t I?

I could tell from Kai’s shoulders, that he was furious. But for once, I knew it wasn’t directed at me.

Kai was torturing himself for the past.

As he placed a well-heaped plate in front of me, I could feel electricity pulsing from his arms.

“Black pepper?” Kai said as he brought over a pepper mill and what looked like Parmesan cheese.

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