Page 31 of Secretary's Obsession

“Can’t you see,” he sobbed. “I’m making it better. Showing you, I can be the way you want. Need.” He’d gotten into his stride, blocking his demon, who was making strange noises in his mind.

“Honey, you don’t need to do this.” George came into the room, his worried gaze tracking Scott, who was knee deep in mess.

“I do,” he declared, although he couldn’t look at what he’d done. Instead, he clicked his fingers, and naked, he stalked to George, aroused, and lifted him clear off the floor. Scooping him into his arms, his demon was back on board with what was going to happen next. He kissed George with all the feelings he had, praying it was enough to make George understand he was everything Scott wanted.

“Want to tell me what happened?” Peni asked, jarring him from his thoughts and stopping his thoughts from traveling to what happened next.

“I lost it.” He went with that because it was probably the best place to start.

Peni twisted to look at him from the kitchen counter where he was making the tea. “Lost what?”

“My damn mind.” He sniffed and dabbed at his wet eyes. “I was going to talk to George, you know, like we discussed, then when I got in the cab to go home.” He sniffed indignantly. “He’d changed his shirt and had a shower,” Scott stated, once more back to feeling miserable.

“I’m sorry, I’m not seeing why this is a problem?” Peni came over with the mug, and a small jug of milk, placing both in front of Scott, giving him an apologetic look, before he pushed the small bowl of sugar towards the black tea.

Scott released a heavy sigh and tried to make himself understood because his demon was being no help. He had shut himself off from Scott in such a way he actually couldn’t feel his presence. Scary and totally not what Scott needed, so he’d closed himself off, too, because one hurt to deal with at a time was enough. “George had gone back to his home before he came to collect me from work. He had showered and changed his shirt before he came to meet me. It could only be because he doesn’t like me following him into the shower to clean up after him. Just like my demon said. I’m driving him away.” He sniffed, willing the ache in his eyes away. “Anyway, I got a little upset.”

Peni took a seat and added milk to his own tea. “Because he had a shower in his own place?”

Scott nodded. “I tried to be messy. I did. I pulled stuff out and messed up the place, wanting him to see I could be what he needed.”

“Ohh…”

A hiccup sob came out as he sagged in the seat at how Peni looked and sounded, suspecting he was only just realizing Scott had, in fact, jumped off the deep end of crazy. “I couldn’t find the words when George didn’t seem to know how to react. That just made it worse.” Scott blushed, recalling that it wasn’t all bad,because seriously, what happened in the bedroom was… yes, it wasn’t all bad. Except when he had woken after the sex, his mind had gone all squirrely on him about how much of a mess he’d made, then he got up to fix it, and he explained to Peni, “When I did that, the wall was back between me and George.”

There were a few seconds of silence as Peni observed him from over the lip of his mug. “It’s hard trying to be perfect all the time, I bet.”

“It is,” he admitted. “I just don’t know how to switch it off.”

Peni tapped at the mug he held. “Maybe switching it off isn’t the key. What about dialing it down? You know, like turning the dial down on the radio when a song grates on your ears.”

Scott sipped at the hot black tea. He scowled as the tea burned the back of his throat when he swallowed, making him realize he’d not used the milk. He placed the mug down and sighed. “How do I do that?”

“I’m not sure how ‘cause really, to start with, you have to talk about how you’re feeling. The fears you got tucked inside. They might be what’s turning your dial up.” He blushed and glanced at the doorway, and Scott sensed Merihem was just outside it listening to them.

He was past caring about being embarrassed. The meltdown he had at work with Luka, who had messed up his desk looking for a file, something he never thought himself capable of, was what had driven him to leave work and seek Peni.

Peni took another sip of his tea and hummed. “Sometimes we need others to tell us when we are escalating. Then we can stop, take a moment, and figure out what set us off. Or do something different to help distract us.”

He let what Peni said sink in, and Scott, now a little calmer, could see that there was truth in what Peni was saying. His dial had gotten pushed up to its limit a long time ago, and he needed ways to bring it down. Positive ways that didn’t make him feel like a failure. George was good at helping, but then he messed that up, overreacting when his brain re-engaged. “I need to talk to George and not overreact. That’s the first step.”

Peni gave him an encouraging smile. “I think that’s a great first step.”

His chat with Peni boosted him, so when he returned to work, Scott was able to concentrate. He managed to get everything done for Luka, who kept giving him odd looks, which Scott ignored. It wasn’t every day he lost his cool. In some way, it felt a little cathartic almost, that he had opened a valve inside to let out some of the pressure.

So, as he tidied up his things, Scott was feeling more positive than earlier in the day. He checked everything was off before he picked up his laptop bag to sling it over his shoulder. In theelevator, he didn’t speak to the couple of men he recognized, aware his eyes were still a little puffy and bloodshot.

Scott couldn’t lie to George, but he hoped the chilled cucumber slices he had used in the restroom would deter questions George might have. He nodded at the security guards as he exited the building, checking his watch as he glanced at the place George used to park and saw it was empty.

He was a minute or two early, so Scott walked to the bench in the tiny green area—it couldn’t be classed as a garden as it was a patch of artificial grass with no flowers—just off to the side that gave him a good view of the street. Scott plucked out his phone as he sat and scrolled a little through emails and used the time to file them in the appropriate files he had for storing correspondence when finished.

Time ticked on and Scott watched the minutes pass by as he considered if George had gone home again. He sighed at the thought. The sky started to darken, and Scott shivered, a sense of foreboding growing in the pit of his stomach.

Can you sense George?

Answer me!

George is really late, and I’m worried about him.

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