Page 39 of Shattered Fate

Gage holds my hand and leads me to the couch. The whipped cream is starting to melt into the mochas.

“You did. Ash took Stella, and he locked you away. You and Stella kept Zane safe for five years. You’re brave, too.”

“Sometimes I don’t feel brave.” I meet his eyes. “Are you here because Max asked you to be?”

He brushes his thumb over my cheek, and I lean into his touch. “No. I’m here because I want to be.”

“Okay.” I snuggle into his side and rest my head on his chest. His heart beats steady under my ear, and his shirt smells like dog and fabric softener.

“Do you remember your time at Quiet Meadows?” he asks, wrapping his arm around me.

“I have dreams,nightmares, I’m in a basement. I have sticky things on my temples and chest, and my head hurts. They’re asking me questions and when I don’t know the answers, they’re happy, but when I do, they get mad.”

“Who’s ‘they?’”

“Doctors, I guess. They wear white lab coats and hold tablets.”

“What else?” Gage asks, and it’s difficult to answer. I’ve been trying not to think about my time there.

“Ash visited a lot. He’d tell me if I didn’t keep my mouth shut, he’d kill Zane and I wouldn’t have anybody left. My mouth wouldn’t work, and all I could do is scream. Sometimes he would tell me Zane hated me and he was the one who put me in there. I was scared of him for a long time. I didn’t know what was real and what was a lie.” I burrow against him and he kisses the top of my head.

“I’m sorry. That was a difficult time for you, and I shouldn’t have asked.” He moves his hand in soothing circles over my back.

“It’s okay. I have to get used to talking about it. It helps me remember the truth.”

“And what’s the truth?”

“That Zane loves me, and Stella’s okay, and I’m dirty and deserve what I got.” I press my lips together. I didn’t mean to say that, but when I think about Quiet Meadows, when I think about the drugs, the words are never far away.

“You’re not dirty, Zarah. Black gave you no choice, and what those men did to you wasn’t your fault.”

“How will any man want to touch me now?” I cry and scramble away from him. My hideous thoughts twist into each other. The violence. The hotel rooms. Ash’s ugly words. My time at Quiet Meadows.

“Because he’ll love you, Zarah. Like Max. He loved you, didn’t he? You’re tired. Let’s get you to bed. Will you show me your room?”

I nod. All I want is to go to sleep.

Leaving our coffees untouched on the table, I walk with him upstairs to my bedroom. In the bathroom, I change into my pajamas, and Gage waits, leaning against the wall while I brush my teeth and wash my makeup off. He pulls down the bedspread and sheet, and I climb into bed.

He sits on the edge of the mattress and brushes the hair away from my face. “I’m sorry I brought up bad memories. I never want to hurt you.”

“Help me make new ones,” I plead. I’m desperate to replace the pain with something good.

“I promise.”

He smooths his fingers through my hair until I fall asleep. I didn’t think he would stay, but I’m disappointed he’s gone whenI wake up, even though Zane would have freaked out if Gage had spent the night.

I don’t have anywhere to go, but I still shower and put on my makeup. I look through my closet for something to wear, and out of the corner of my eye, I catch my notebook laying on my desk. Jerricka’s stupid list. But it’s not the same list I showed Gage at the café. No, a masculine print has filled in every line.

Before he left, Gage wrote ten reasons why a man would want me and none of them are sex or money.

I rub at the skin over my heart.

Gage kissed me in the woods, and he knows what Ash made me do.

Maybe I’m not as dirty as I think I am.

CHAPTER NINE

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