Page 66 of Shattered Fate

“No, she’s not. Until she can think for herself, she has no business spending the night with—”

“With whom?” I ask, standing from my seat, too, breakfast forgotten.

“Z, he wouldn’t have come around if Max hadn’t asked him to. Did you forget how he treated you at the memorial service? We were mourning Max, too. Hediedin my arms, and I’m supposed to shake that off?”

“This isn’t about you,” Stella says, rescuing me. “There’s no harm in them getting to know each other. We’re all adults here, and he must have treated her like a lady or she wouldn’t want to see him again. She’s been making great progress this past year, don’t stand in her way.”

I want to thank her for speaking up, but you know something? Zane’s right. If Max hadn’t been murdered and asked Gage to check on me, he wouldn’t have sought me out. When I paid my respects at Max’s memorial service, he hated me. What has changed since that night? Nothing. Him saving me from the paparazzi. A date where I couldn’t order my own coffee. What did I think I was doing? Making friends? Do I want to behis girlfriend? He’s not going to want a woman long-term who can’t have sex.

I’m colder than Elsa inFrozen. There are a ton of derogatory names for a woman like me. Frigid is only one of the nicer ones that come to mind.

“You’re right,” I say, surprising everyone in the kitchen.

“Zarah—” Stella starts.

I glance at her. “No, he’s right. I’ll tell him today there’s no point in us seeing each other anymore.” My heart breaks a little. He made me feel warm and safe, and I was starting to like that squishy feeling, even if I’m scared of it, too.

“Good. Tate’s been asking about you. If you want to date, I don’t mind, but choose someone who isn’t connected to that whole goddamned mess, will you?” He kisses Stella quickly on the mouth and grabs his briefcase off the floor. “I’ll be home for dinner.”

Stella waits until she hears the front door slam.“Don’t listen to him.”

Lucille looks at her out of the corners of her eyes, but she doesn’t say anything.

Full of dejection, I sit down, my shoulders slumping. My coffeecake no longer looks appealing, and my coffee is cold. “Why?” I ask dully. “He’s right.”

Stella sits next to me, and placing her hand on my cheek, turns my head, her gaze meeting mine. “No, he’s not. Zarah, if I listened to Zane, if I found someone who isn’t connected to this ‘whole goddamned mess’ I wouldn’t be here. I would have stayed in Florida with my parents, married one of their friends’ sons, or I would have started a life somewhere else with the money he gave me. After all that Zane did to me, after all he let Ash do to me because he wouldn’t listen, do you think he would have blamed me? Begged me to stay? Of course not. He feels guilty, and he’ll always feel guilty. You shouldn’t have to shoulder thatguilt, and I’m not going to let you. If you like Gage, if he treats you well, then don’t listen to your brother. I’ll take care of it. Even if it means repeating some truths he doesn’t want to hear.”

“We only met because Max asked him to check on me,” I whisper.

“Yeah, and he waited a year to do it. It’s obvious he doesn’t think of you as an obligation or he would have done it the minute Max passed away, saw you were okay, and never looked back. But he didn’t.”

I shrug. There’s truth to what she’s saying, but what Zane said cut me to the quick. Can I heal properly if I’m involved with someone who will always remind me of what happened? “I don’t need to see him.”

“You don’tneedhim, but want, now that’s something different, huh?”

“He’s so nice, Stella. I don’t want him to have to wait for me.”

“Abused women can have healthy sexual relationships. You don’t have to jump into bed tonight, or tomorrow, or this week, or the next.Have fun. Kissing, snuggling. Foreplay.” She sighs. “I admit, he’ll need a lot of patience on his end, and he’s probably going to be giving himself handjobs in the shower—”

Lucille snorts a laugh, and I stifle a smile.

“—but if he cares about you, he’ll understand.”

“I guess so.”

“You know how we have a ‘tell everything’ rule here?”

I nod.

“You and Gage need that. You need to have open communication or you’ll get your wires crossed and you’ll get hurt, or you’ll hurt him and that will make you feel bad, too.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“Yeah, I know, but it’s important. If you can’t talk about it, you shouldn’t be thinking about doing it.”

“She’s right,” Lucille says. “If you’re going to start having sex, be smart. Ask him to wear a condom.”

Stella squeezes my hand. “When you’re ready, we’ll call and schedule you a doctor’s appointment for birth control, okay? A shot so you don’t have to remember a pill every day.”

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