Page 44 of The Trouble with Anna

She lifted her hand and knocked firmly on the heavy door.

“Enter!” Julian was sitting behind the desk when she walked in, his jacket off and his shirtsleeves rolled up as he scratched furiously at a piece of paper. Anna had never seen his forearms bare before and her eyes traced the line of hard muscle.

He looked up and stood immediately to join her in the middle of the room, the warmth of his hands enveloping hers.

“Thank you for joining me.”

“What’s happened? We’re worried for you.”

“One of my ships went down in a storm off Gibraltar. Everyone on board was lost.”

Anna sucked in a breath. She ached to reach out for him, cradle his stone face in her hands and try to absorb some of his terrible tension. But would he want her to? There was still so much uncertainty between them, so she pulled her hands away from his and clasped them hands tightly in front of her. “I’m so sorry, Julian. How dreadful.”

“The captain was my friend. I must go to Bristol at once to see to his family and the families of his crew.”

“Of course. When do you leave?”

“Daybreak.” He let go of her and dashed his hand through his hair. “It’s the devil of a thing to happen, and now of all times.” He took her hands again, and Anna felt how small they were in his. “Anna, I don’t know how long I’ll be and it will be impossible to leave before I have your answer. You must tell me—will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Here it was, the moment of decision. The moment that required her breath, her blood, her salt, her mettle.

Every instinct urged her to shrink down, or to cover herself in armor so thick that no one could reach her. It was what she’d done when her mother died, during those first bewildering days at Chatham. But the old ways of keeping safe wouldn’t serve her anymore.

Anna lifted her eyes to his. “I came to my grandfather’s house at eight, did you know? My mother had died, and because of the scandal, my father’s family wouldn’t take me.” Compassion flared on Julian’s face and she tried hard not to mind it. “My grandfather didn’t much want me either, but he knew his duty. And after a while, we found we had similar interests, and provided I followed his rules and never complained, we came to be friends. Or so I thought.” She tried to smile.

“Anna?” He squeezed her hands lightly and she shook her head, hard.

“I’m not telling you this to ask for pity, but so you understand. I’m not a beauty. No, don’t say anything! I know it’s true. I know how odd I can be. And you’reRamsay. You don’t need my grandfather’s fortune and certainly not his granddaughter. The smartest path is to marry you, I see that, and lately…” She ducked her head in case she gave too much away. “But this has gone so fast and I don’t quite understand it. I only know that I couldn’t bear to walk through my own life unwanted, to feel like the poor relation ever again.”

Anger gathered on his face. “The only reason I would marry you is for money, duty, or forpity?”

Anna wrapped her arms tightly around herself and shrugged.

Julian muttered something under his breath and hauled her hard against his chest. “What about your bravery? What about your honor and intelligence? What about how you ride or that tart tongue of yours? What about how you carry all of Chatham on your back? My god, Anna, why do you give no value to the best parts of yourself?”

Anna pushed away and forced herself to concentrate. “Forgive me, Julian. They’re fine words, but you never thought to marry me before my grandfather’s will.”

Julian ran a hand through his hair again and it stood up, almost as disordered as Anna felt. He searched for words and seemed to loathe all he found.

“God’s teeth, Anna! I don’t marry you for pity. I don’t offer a love match, either.” His eyes flashing a warning at her. “You need a husband. Damn it, don’t shake your head at me, you know it’s true. I need a wife as well, but I’ve never once been tempted to find one until your blasted grandfather trussed you up and threw you at me.”

Anna gave a shaky laugh, and Julian gathered her up, crushingly close.

“You see? Who else would laugh at this coil we’re in? I marry you becauseI choose you. Of all the women I’ve known, I choose you. Is that not enough?”

“I don’t know!”

“I do.” He leaned down and kissed her.

Sparks rushed through Anna’s veins, and once again her blood turned to syrup and her will melted away. She could feel her breath coming hard, each suck of air flattening her body against him.

The heat of him was overwhelming, those strong hands pullingat her hip, working their way into the mass of her hair, firm against the nape of her neck as he licked his way up to nip at her ear. She had the strangest feeling that he marked every part he touched, left each centimeter of skin hot, yearning, and no longer quite hers.

“Marry me, Anna.” He bent his head for one more kiss, swift and somehow angry.

She stared at him. Her eyes felt huge in her face.

Anna opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

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