Page 119 of The Trouble with Anna

Anna drew back. She had to see his face. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you, damn it!” he yelled. “I’m saying you’re everything to me.”

His remarkable eyes glittered with conviction.

“Could you say that again?” she said in a small voice. “This time without the yelling?”

He took her by both arms. “I love you, my Anna. I always will.”

She didn’t notice when she lifted up on tiptoe or he lowered his head. All she knew was that they were kissing, and the rain dripping through the cracks in the roof didn’t matter, and her wet clothes didn’t matter, nor did the crushing hurt and worry during the frantic carriage ride up from—

The horse, sick of all the mooning, nudged its face between them.

Anna laughed and buried her face into Julian’s coat, shivering with relief, or just because it felt strange and wonderful to stand before him so completely exposed, her armor gone for good.

“Anna, will you look at me, please?” Julian said, and pressed a kiss into her hair. “There are things I must say, and I can’t keep having all our most important conversations with the top of your head.” When she raised her face, his expression was solemn. “I’m sorry I let you doubt. I tried to show you, but I should have said.”

She gave a watery laugh. “We’re terrible at this, aren’t we?”

“Yes! Why did you start by telling me how much you don’t need me?”

“Because it’s important! Because everyone takes from you and for once someone ought to give. I want to stand by your side, Julian, and fight your enemies, and—”

He laughed softly, even as his eyes blazed with pride. “Such a bloodthirsty Countess. I approve.”

Anna hesitated and her face went serious. “I mean it, Julian. I know it’s difficult, but I hate to think of you—” She hesitated again before reaching into her pocket and pulling something out. “I hope I didn’t overstep, but I brought something for you.”

She opened her hand to reveal a blue velvet pouch, hastily stitched and even more hastily embroidered with his initials in a lighter blue thread with hints of gold shot through it. It was stuffed to bulging with little pink-and-gold paper twists.

“You brought me candy?”

“I brought you chocolate. It’s the chocolate desserts that seem to torture you the most, so I thought, perhaps… I trust you, Julian. At least, I’m learning to. I’m hoping—when you’re ready, of course—that you might start trusting yourself.”

Julian cleared his throat. “Anna, I…”

“You don’t have to eat them. I’ll hide them away if you want. I just wanted you to know—”

He snatched the pouch up and tucked it into his pocket, then rested his forehead against hers. “Let’s go back to Clare and get warm, and then we’ll find a cozy armchair and you can sit on my lap and I will try your chocolates. You may pepper me with any questions you like and I will do my best to answer them. How does that sound?”

“Splendid,” said Anna, throwing her arms around his neck. “That sounds splendid.”

When the rain began to let up, they started back for the main house, ambling despite the cold, content to be next to each other and talk, Julian’s horse trailing close behind.

“But at first—” Anna began.

Julian shook his head. “At first, I was unforgivably stupid. I thought I was doing the right thing. No, Anna, stop! You mustn’t hit me! I am much too big for you to fight.”

“I told you there was no need to marry me! Repeatedly.”

“I was not yet acquainted with your great good sense. Then we started to ride out together each morning and suddenly I was miserably out of sorts and thinking of nothing but you. The night before I left for Bristol, you had me out of my mind. Gran saw it. Charlotte saw it—didn’t you?”

Anna frowned. “I’d lost my own mind, you see. But why did you never say?”

“It’s not easy! And you’re damned unpredictable. I tried once in the stable, but you went all strange.” He frowned down at her. “Why did you never say? Why should the man be the one to speak first? Loving you is hellish, I’ll have you know. I could have used some help.”

“Bad, is it?”

“Yes, and it reflects poorly on your character that my suffering makes you grin.”

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