Page 116 of The Trouble with Anna

The Countess allowed herself a look of mild surprise. “You’ve seen the books, have you? What a little shopkeeper! I suppose your first act as Countess will be to cut off my funds?”

“Of course not,” Anna said miserably. “You have the right to an independence.”

“I agree. Yet my marriage contract did not stipulate much of a living at all. So instead ofindependence, I live on Ramsay’s generosity. Soon I will live on your generosity as well. How lovely for me.”

“Oh. Oh!” The fight puffed out of Anna. “Is that why you came? My lady, I assure you I wouldnever—”

The Countess gave a hiss of disgust. “I certainly did not come tobeg. I came to offer you a gift.”

Anna eyed the Countess warily. She felt like a child in a deep, dark woods, looking down at a polished apple in a gnarled old hand. Except those children had absolutely no sense, and she had plenty. “How kind, but there’s no need.”

“Don’t be so hasty, child. Perhaps you would be interested to know that I am acquainted with your aunt Prudence.Distantlyacquainted, so imagine my surprise when she wrote with news of your grandfather’s death and the most intimate details about his will.” The Countess’s smile grew wider when Anna’s cheeks went red. “She asked me the likelihood of a man of Ramsay’s stature marrying a young girl like you. A girl of no beauty, who stinks of the stables, has a scandal for a mother, and only her grandfather’s wealth to recommend her.”

Anna found that she was shaking. “There can be no reason for you to insult—”

“It was my pleasure to inform your aunt that there was nolikelihoodof marriage at all. Your marriage was a certainty.” The Countess had cat eyes, just like Charlotte’s. They narrowed to slits when she was pleased. “Surely you wondered why Julian offered for you? He could have arranged another marriage. He could have left you out in the cold. He could simply have bought Chatham and given it to you. Sowhydid he insist so doggedly on marriage, right from the very beginning, when by all accounts you fought him?”

“I hardly believe Julian confides in you.”

“Of course not. But I wager he also does not confide in you. Does he?”

Anna’s fists clenched, her nails bit into her hands. This was what they didn’t tell you about the old tales, while you assured yourself that you would never eat the gingerbread or that you would chuck the apple at the witch’s head and gallop off on your horse. They never told you that you wouldseethe terrible mistake, and make it anyway.

Anna swallowed. “No. I can’t say that he does.”

“Then let me tell you a story. Julian’s father was a drunk, did you know? He died when Julian was fifteen, much too young to manage an estate the size of Clare, let alone the others. Julian was left with a guardian, his father’s steward. A man Julian had known since he was a child, a man who had taught him to shoot and ride and who I often thought was closer to Julian than his real father ever could be. But he stole from the estate, vast amounts. Between his father’s mismanagement and his guardian’s embezzlement, the earldom was on the verge of ruin.”

“I don’t see—”

“No. You don’t. But I remember just how Julian looked when he learned of the betrayal. I saw his expression when he came backfrom the library and informed us that Atkinson had shot himself rather than face disgrace.” The Countess’s face went flat. “Julian would never walk away from you—his ward!—not when he knows betrayal so intimately himself. It’s simply not in his nature. If you are marrying Julian to become a countess, then I congratulate you. But if you care for him and want him to care for you, then no happiness will come your way. Don’t deceive yourself, child. Julian marries you for duty, nothing more.”

Anna clenched the sides of her chair, screaming inside. “Why have you told me all this?”

“Because when I was younger than you, no one thought to tell me I was entering into marriage with a dangerous drunk. I’ve given you the truth, which is more courtesy than anyone ever did me.” The Countess rose and drifted over to the grand salon’s wide doors. “What you do with it is up to you.”

The doors clicked shut behind her.

Donotpanic, Anna told herself firmly as she made her straight-backed way up the stairs.

“Ivy?” she called, pleased with how steady her voice sounded, almost as if her insides weren’t dissolving into jelly. “I could do with a turn in the park. Would you accompany me, please?”

The pair walked for an hour and Anna managed not to panic the entire time, nodding and smiling under the barren trees as Ivy described Charlotte’s many lurid plans for the wedding night lingerie.

Look at me. Look at how well I’m not panicking!she thought, as she dressed for dinner that night and slurped her way through the soup course. She refused to acknowledge the shake in her hands, or the little spots of consommé that fell onto the Dowager’s antiquelace table mats. When the fish course was served, Anna dutifully swallowed it down, noticing how wonderfully flaky the cod was even though she shouldn’t taste a thing.

Julian was marrying her out of duty.

The problem was, she knew it was true. She’d known from the first moment he’d announced his intentions in the library back in Chatham, using polite words that didn’t match his furious face. She’d crackled with suspicion when he started to court her, which was why she’d guarded herself so carefully. But her poor heart was such a fool. It had sung a song of longing into Anna’s ear, filling her head up with such aching hope that—

“Oh, stop it!” Anna muttered into her pudding, earning a startled look from Charlotte.

“What was that?”

“Oh, syllabub!” Anna said. “I adore a good syllabub, don’t you?”

Charlotte looked even more startled but chose not to comment, too occupied with her own problems. “So Mother was here today? How strange she didn’t stay to see me!” Her hair curled tighter, as if it were retreating into itself. “I’d better call on her tomorrow. Did she look well? The last time I saw her she was quite low, you see, and…” She trailed off, staring down into her dessert.

“Oh yes!” Anna reassured quickly. “The Countess looked quite well. Magnificent, even.”

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