Page 55 of Break Me Knot

“Theywantto be here,” he says softly, his voice carrying conviction I don’t want to acknowledge. “We all do. With you.”

Why me? Why this pull? Why put up with my resistance? I’m doing everything an omega shouldn’t do, but I'm afraid of the answer if I ask aloud. They think I'm their mate. They said as much last night. Scent-matches, no less. The words echo in my head, impossible and terrifying, but… I should know if I’m their mate, shouldn't I? I should know if we’re scent-matches. I should know with a certainty that would be impossible to deny and yet…and yet…

“What do you like to do with your free time?” Adrian asks, breaking into my thoughts. His question is casual, but his eyes are intent on my face, like my answer really matters to him.

“Free time?” The concept is as foreign as true mates and gentle alphas. “Between waitressing twelve-hour shifts at the diner during the day and cleaning offices at night, any free time I had was spent sleeping.”

His scent spikes with something like pain, but he keeps his voice gentle. The way he controls his reactions, careful not to overwhelm me, makes something in my chest ache in a good way. “What about before you worked two jobs? What did you enjoy?”

A memory slips into my head, faded around the edges but still there. Whole days lost in worn armchairs, surrounded by the comforting smell of old books and dust motes dancing in sunbeams. Mrs. Chen, the librarian, knew me by name and would save new releases she thought I'd like. “This has your name written all over it,” she'd say with a wink. I'd lose myself in other worlds, other lives, possibilities beyond the confines of my own existence.

“I liked the library.” I spent most Saturday mornings there while Mom and Dad worked their second jobs, though I don’t say that now. “There was this corner window seat. The perfect reading spot. Sun would come in just right, and you could see the park across the street. I'd stay there until closing time, just... escaping.” Into worlds where love wasn't a trap, where happy endings existed.

Adrian's expression softens into something that makes my heart flutter. I tense. Why would an omega need to read when her worth is better spent on her back? But instead of a nasty comment, his voice is soft when he says, “Would you like to see the rest of the apartment? I don’t believe you’ve seen all of it yet.”

I find myself nodding, survival instinct warring with curiosity. I should know the layout, all possible exits. There wasn't time to explore during my heat-addled arrival, but now... Maybe there's another way out besides the elevator. A fire escape, a service entrance… something that might give me options when I inevitably run from them.

Adrian leads me through the penthouse, and I try to memorize every turn, every door. His presence beside me is distracting. His scent makes that heat under my skin flare with every breath. He moves with easy confidence, like he knows exactly how his proximity affects me but won't use it to control me.

“Zane's room.” He gestures to a space that perfectly matches its occupant. Bright and open, with large windows letting in natural light. Comfortable furniture in warm colors invites relaxation. Gaming consoles and a massive TV suggest how he unwinds. His dark amber is thick here. I try to hide how it affects me, how right it is, but Adrian's assertive look suggests I fail.

Cole's room is next, darker, more austere, but with an entire wall of books that makes my fingers itch to explore. Literature classics mix with modern novels, scientific texts with poetry collections. Leather and pine wraps around me, and despite his rejection, his scent calls to me just as strongly as the others. A reading chair sits by the window, worn in a way that suggests long hours spent there. I could picture myself curled up there, surrounded by books and his scent...

No. I can't think like that. Can't let myself imagine belonging in these spaces.

Adrian's room suits him perfectly, elegant but comfortable, everything arranged with precise care. The massive bed dominates one wall, making me blush as I remember this morning's fantasy. His scent is strongest here, filling my lungs until I'm dizzy with it. Art on the walls suggests refined taste, while family photos show a softer side. A desk near the window holds neat stacks of papers, everything in its place.

The domesticity of it all starts to overwhelm me… the easy way they share space and imagining how I could fit into their lives.

My chest tightens as iron bands constrict my ribs. My skin prickles with cold sweat as heat floods my face. The urge to run, to hide, to protect myself from the dangerous comfort they offer grows stronger with each passing second, until Adrian's voice cuts through the rising tide of panic, anchoring me to the present.

“You're going to love this next room,” he says, and despite my caution, curiosity stirs. My panic drains away. I don't even realize he's taken my hand until the warmth of his palm registers against mine, his thumb stroking small circles on my skin as he leads me to another door. The casual intimacy of the gesture should frighten me, but instead feels natural.

“My office,” he announces, and I step into a huge, warm space that immediately is... safe. Dark wood paneling, leather furniture, and most importantly, books. Entire walls of books, floor to ceiling shelves filled with volumes of every size. The scent of old paper mingles with his cedar and vanilla, creating something that calls to my soul.

“Why so many books?” I ask, drawn to the eclectic collection.

He smiles, clearly pleased by my interest. “Some are from college. I never could bear to part with them. Others are medical journals, research papers. A lot of fiction, too.” He runs his fingers along a shelf. “Books were my escape during med school, before we started Pinnacle. I'd read anything I could get my hands on.”

“You were in med school?” The question slips out. “Is this before or after culinary school?”

He chuckles, the sound like warm molasses that does illicit things to that place deep inside me. “Don’t believe everything Zane says. He exaggerates. A lot.There were only one or two cooking classes while I was trying to find myself before I realized learning cooking via YouTube was more my style. I switched to pharmaceutical research because I could help more omegas that way than through traditional medicine.” His scent carries notes of old frustration. “Though some might argue we haven't helped much at all.”

He sighs and waves a hand toward the books. “Read anything you like,” he says, as if giving me free access to knowledge isn't dangerous. As if choice isn't a weapon. “The fiction's mostly mysteries and classics, but the medical texts might interest you more.”

Adrian moves to his desk and opens his laptop. I drift toward the shelves like a moth drawn to a flame. Medical texts, scientific journals, literature classics, and... omega studies? Not the propaganda I'm used to, but actual research. My fingers hover over the spines, wanting to touch but unable to believe he’s allowing me access.

My hands shake slightly as I pull out a book on omega biology. The pages fall open to a section on omega heats and what I read makes my blood run cold. This is nothing like what Haven taught us. This text speaks of the need for scents, nests. Consent. All the things I was taught didn't exist.

It talks about heat as a natural process, not a punishment.

About bonding as a choice, not an obligation.

Could what they’ve been telling me be…true?

I look up quickly to check if sitting here and reading is allowed, but Adrian is absorbed in whatever is on his laptop screen. There's a comfortable armchair in the corner of the room, bathed in weak winter light. I walk over to it and sit, waiting to see if he’ll order me to move to the floor. Instead, he starts tapping at his keyboard, becoming lost in his work.

I curl up, tuck my feet under me and set the book in my lap. The leather is soft against my skin, the light perfect for reading. Adrian’s scent mingles so well with dry paper. Heat rises from that endless pool deep within me and slides under my skin like silk, but I ignore it. I need to gather as much information as I can while I’m allowed.

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