Page 30 of Singing For His Kiss

He wasn’t sure what to make of Maria’s comment, but he did know he was neglecting his daughter and he shouldn’t be. He hastened to Madeline’s bedroom, trying to unravel the knot that had begun in his stomach knowing Elizabeth would be there as well.

Just concentrate on Madeline. Forget about Elizabeth.

He would think about nothing but reading her a story, or tucking her in, or kissing her forehead. He could do this. For his daughter.

By the time he’d reached Madeline’s room, Madeline was tucked in bed and Elizabeth was kissing Madeline on her forehead. “Goodnight, beautiful. Don’t let the bed bugs bite!”

Madeline's answer was a giggle. “Can we play Mummy’s piano again tomorrow?”

“If you’d like.” Elizabeth’s smile made his heart lurch.

A confusing mix of emotions washed through him. He didn’t know what to do with them, so he hesitated at the door for a moment before entering the room and crossing to his daughter, snuggled in bed.

“Daddy!”

Elizabeth smiled and stepped aside, letting him kiss Madeline. “Goodnight, pumpkin. Did you have a good day?”

“We played Mummy’s piano!”

As if he could forget. The light in her eyes was enough to tell him her excitement. Clearly, his warning of staying away from the room was forgotten in the delight of playing it. The admonishment poised on his lips, simply fled.

Stopping Madeline from accessing the room seemed – selfish. Madeline had every right to that room, and to that piano. She had a right to learn about her mother any way she could. Shutting her out of the room was like shutting her off from her mother.

Suddenly, he couldn’t find it in his heart to be angry about it. All he felt was – deflated and empty. This afternoon the house had been filled with music, and although it had brought up all sorts of bad memories, deep down, it was just lovely to hear again.

In fact, it made the hurting place in his soul ease a little.

He glanced at Elizabeth. “Yes. I heard. It reminded me of Mummy.”

Madeline beamed. “It did?”

“Yes. You can play the piano any time you want,” James said, swallowing away the construction in his throat.

“You… you’re not mad?” Elizabeth said. “Madeline said you don’t let people in the room, that’s all. I didn’t know if I should have been there, but she really wanted to show me. It’s a lovely room.”

James patted the doona securely around Madeline and stood. “Goodnight, sweetheart. Sweet dreams.”

"Don’t let the bed bugs bite!” Madeline said and closed her eyes.

Turning to Elizabeth, he said, “Can I talk to you? Outside?”

Ignoring Elizabeth’s stricken look, he kissed Madeline’s forehead before closing the bedroom door. He faced Elizabeth, suddenly overcome with nerves. Since Elizabeth had fallen into his life, he’d never felt so much good—and bad— in a long, long time. It was… surprising.

The catalyst for everything unwinding stood before him with a mixture of confusion and wariness crossing her beautiful features. The thing was, he wasn’t sure whether to be glad, or to run in the opposite direction.

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