Page 62 of Crossroads of Love

It’s not what I want, but I’ll back off if I need to right now. I’ll give her space. I won’t leave like I did before, though.

I’m not going anywhere.

She looks at me for a long time, her gaze soft but tired. “It’s not too much. I don’t know whatthisis, Gavin, and I don’t know what I want it to be either.”

Fair enough, because I don’t know either.

Chapter Twelve

Lena

The following morning, I walk into Jayla’s bedroom and open her curtains while also turning on her radio.

“Up and at ’em, honey.”

“Mooooooooom,” she groans, putting her pillow over her head.

“You want to play like an adult, it’s time to be one. Meet me in the kitchen in ten minutes if you ever want your truck or phone back.”

She lets out a louder groan as I leave her room. I make my way downstairs to the kitchen, make us both cups of coffee, then sit down at the kitchen table.

Jayla slides into the seat across from me, her arms crossed. “You’re not dating him, are you?”

I sigh, rubbing my temples. “It’s not like that, Jay. He’s helping me with some of the estate stuff. That’s all.”

“Yeah, okay. And I’m supposed to believe that’s all it is? I see how he looks at you.”

How does he look at me?

Her words catch me off guard, and I feel that familiar flutter in my heart. I know exactly how he looks at me. I guess I assumed it was in my head.

I want to tell her she’s wrong. I should tell her that nothing is happening, that I’m not still struggling with my feelings for Gavin, that I’m not caught in this impossible tug-of-war between my loyalty to her father and the ghosts of my past with his brother.

I can’t lie to her.

I thought I had a handle on all of this until Gavin walked back into our lives. I thought all of those feelings were dead and buried.

Clearly not.

How can I explain something I barely understand myself?

“I don’t know how he looks at me. The stuff with the estate is way over my head, and your uncle thrives on this kind of thing. He’s helping so that I can get it taken care of.”

“What is the estate stuff? I don’t even know what that means.”

“When someone dies, their possessions are put into an estate, and a lot of paperwork goes along with it. Henry took care of everything for your dad, and now it needs to be done for Henry. Your uncle Gavin is helping me make sure we get everything handled so we don’t miss anything.”

“Oh,” she says softly. “I didn’t realize that. I…I thought you two were dating, and…I don’t know how I feel about it.”

“We’re not, sweet pea. But I do need you to know that I have very deep feelings for your uncle Gavin. I…he and I were very close growing up, and when your dad and I broke up while he was in the Army, I had a…relationship with Gavin. We broke up, and your dad knew about it, but it seems like those feelings I thought I had left behind are still there.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that your uncle Gavin and I could very well start dating again,” I reply quickly. “It means I would like to, and I hope you’re okay with that.”

I can feel the anxiety clawing at my chest. I can’t believe I said those words out loud. I reach over and squeeze her hand.

“I…I’m worried he’s going to leave again and hurt us both. You’ve been through so much, Mom.”

---