And then, before I can even process what’s happening, he closes the space between us. His lips crash into mine with a hunger that takes me by surprise. My body freezes for a second, but then I melt into him, my hands gripping the front of his shirt as if I’m afraid to let go.
Yes! This is what I wanted.
My heart soars, like I feel it practically beating out of my chest as…
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I rip away from him and put distance between us, gripping the back of the chair. His breathing is ragged. I look between him and Michael, hoping to just let the floor swallow me whole.
Spontaneous combustion is a thing, right?
“This,” he whispers, his voice strained, “this is why I stayed away.”
I blink, trying to make sense of his words, but he pulls back farther, looking at me with regret.
“I stayed away because I knew, even back then, that Aaron was the better match for you,” he continues, his voice low but filled with emotion. “He was the one you deserved, not me. If I had come back, I would’ve ruined everything. I would’ve ruined my relationship with my brother… and with you. My father told me that if I chose you, I couldn’t come back. I chose you, and then…when I couldn’t explain to you why we couldn’t be a couple back in Hicks Creek, you left.” He stops what he's saying and closes his eyes to regain his composure. “Even my dad knew Aaron was better for you. If I couldn’t have you, then I couldn’t watch you live your happily ever after with my perfect brother.”
Perfect brother?
Why is he making this up?Henry wouldn’t have told him that.
His words are like a slap in the face, and I glare at him, my heart pounding in my chest. “Gavin, what are you talking about? Why are you lying?”
“We can’t even be in the same room without…being pulled toward each other. I couldn’t stay here, watching you two build a life together, knowing that if I stayed, I’d… I don’t know. You…”
How dare he try to blame this all on me?
I swallow hard, my emotions threatening to spill over. “Don’t you dare put this on me.”
“I wanted you, but so did my brother. I would have…”
“No,fuck you!” I hiss as I get up in his face. “Don’t you dare sit here and tell me that the reason you didn’t come back to Hicks Creek is because of some bullshit feelings for me! You made it loud and clear that I was nothing to you but a fuck buddy. You didn’t come back to town because you’re a selfish bastard who plays the damn victim!”
My finger is digging into his chest. He grabs my wrist gently. He stares at me, his face etched with something like pain, but he doesn’t say anything.He moves my arm away and lets it go slowly.
“I should…” Michael starts as he stands.
“I’ll go. I’ll be in touch,” Gavin hisses as he storms out of the office.
I fall into the chair, clutching my stomach before I bury my face in my hands. What is this, guilt or sadness? It’s the same pain I felt when he told me I was just a fuck buddy. Did I really tie all of this to him staying for me instead of the farm?
“What the fuck just happened? Why didn’t I…?”
Tell him I love him and beg him to stay?
“You got some ’splaining to do, Lucy.” Michael chuckles in a mock Ricky Ricardo voice.
“I think he made it pretty obvious.”
“You and Gavin were a thing?”
“I didn’t cheat on Aaron.”
“I wasn’t accusing you of it, just asking questions.”
“Aaron and I broke up when he left for the Army, and I was away at college, as you know. The distance was just too much, but…I felt like it was always on me to fix everything for him, you know? Like I was raising him, not dating him. My senior year, I was out at a bar and ran into Gavin. We were inseparable for a few months. When I asked him to go to a party with me back here, he told me that I was nothing more than his fuck buddy.”
“And you slapped him across the face and told him to go to hell?”