Page 41 of The Deed to a Gangsta's Heart

“Bye, Ma.”

“Bye, baby.”

As soon as I ended the call I asked Luci, “What was that?” through my smile.

“You didn’t warn me. You have to mentally prepare to meet someone’s mother.”

“And how much preparation do you need, Ms. Williams?”

“Hmm… Maybe two or three days.”

“Aight, I got you. After I talk to my brother and get usall on good terms, I’ll invite them over for dinner so you all can meet.”

“Is that your role in the family?” she asked before taking a sip of her drink. “The mediator? Facilitator?”

My head shook as I set my phone down. As I washed my hands, I admitted, “If it is, I don’t think I do a good job. We spend a hell of a lot of time in conflict. Just when it finally seemed like me and my brother were getting on good terms, Mama said some shit that destroyed the foundation we’d built. I can’t even blame her, though, because the issue could have been resolved if he would have just talked to me. It’s like he wants us to always be on bad terms.”

“How does that make you feel?”

I looked back at her as she hopped onto the island. “Like I’m failing. Our relationship has always been different because Mama trained me to be more like a father and caregiver than brother. I think he has some resentment about that.”

“Do you? I mean… I know that couldn’t have been easy on you either. How many years apart are y’all?”

“Eight, and you’re right, it wasn’t. I had to grow up quicker. I had far more responsibility as a kid than I should have.” Shrugging, I transferred the onions and bell peppers from the cutting board to the bowl. “It is what it is though. I’m losing my patience with trying. If he doesn’t want to hear me out and work on us having a healthy relationship, I’m cutting him off. It’s exhausting walking on eggshells with him and trying to keep the peace between him and her.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I commend you for trying. I know it’s easy to want to do whatever you can to maintain family relationships because they are family, but the bible says as far as it concerns you, live in peace with all men. Ifthat peace comes from distance, you have to do what’s best for you.”

That was true, and it was something I’d been struggling with. The less I got in the middle of what was going on with them, the less I had migraines. The less my emotions were all over the place. The less anger I felt. The less I felt like a failure. It would be different if I wasn’t the only brother trying. Until he was ready to meet me halfway, maybe I’d need to enjoy the separation.

I wiped my hands then stepped between Luci’s legs to give her a hug and kiss. Her words felt like confirmation to me, and if God was sending me a message through her, I would heed it and listen.

24

Remedy

I’d takenCallie shopping for her classroom. What I thought would only take an hour or so took three. Callie was like a kid in a candy store. The shit was so cute. I knew she would make a great teacher and an even greater mother.

As we pulled into my parents’ driveway I asked, “Are you ready to tell them about us?”

“Yes. Honestly, I don’t think we’d be able to hide it even if we wanted to.”

I couldn’t deny that. It was hard for me to keep my hands off her. So much time had passed with me wanting her and thinking I’d never have her. Now that I did, I had to make up for that lost time.

“You’re right.”

“Do you think they’ll approve?”

“Of course. Even if they didn’t, I don’t care. I love you.”

Her grin was bashful as she leaned forward and cupped my cheek for a kiss. “I love you too. I still can’t believe you acted a fool last night. The only reason I am speaking to you is because you took me shopping for my classroom.”

I had no arguments or excuses, so I didn’t even bother. Last night was a shit show. My mind took me back to our time atThe Food Hall. What started as a good time ended with one of her ex’s taking a nap.

I left to refill our drinks, and when I came back, I saw her squirming to get out of his arms. He was yapping about how happy he was that she was back in town and kissed her. I dropped the drinks, pulled him off her, and almost snapped his neck. The only thing that kept me from killing him was the fact that there was a crowd of people around us. Instead, I choked him out.

Sucking my teeth, I opened the door. “He’s lucky he’s still alive. I’m tempted to change that.”

Her eyes rolled as she unbuckled her seat belt. “Johnathon didn’t know I wasn’t single, Rem.”

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