Page 46 of Every Deadly Suspicion

She nodded.

“I can understand Mandy wanting closure. She forgave Joe a long time ago. Where her parents’ remains are is a loose end.” He steepled his hands and tapped his chin with his fingertips. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Have you forgiven Joe?”

Hanna took a minute before answering. “Before I got this letter, I would have said yes. But now, I don’t know. Joe Keyes has been a monster in name only my whole life.” Hanna surprised herself with the answer. She doubted that she would have been as candid with Nathan.

Jared straightened and sat back in the rocker. “Don’t look at Joe through your mother’s eyes. Paula took everything so personal. What Joe did was horrible, but it was never about your mom. She never saw anything except how her life was affected. I doubt she ever even considered the real victims. I always loved the fact that you never let her bitterness affect you. Don’t start letting it do that now.”

“You think that’s what I’m doing?” His analysis of her mother was spot-on. If Hanna had a nickel for every time her mother moaned about what Joe had done toher, she’d have a truckload of nickels.

“I don’t know. What I do know is that you are a kind and compassionate woman. I imagine on some level it bothers you to think about Joe dying alone in prison. He’s paid for his crimes here, and he’ll face God eventually. Dying alone would be an empty death.”

Hanna considered this. Joe’s crimes should have merited the death sentence. His plea deal forestalled that. Though California had not executed anyone in years, and now had a moratorium against the death penalty, it was unlikely he’d have been put todeath even if he’d received that sentence. He’d served thirty-five years in prison. Some killers nowadays got off with much lighter sentences. Looking at the situation as chief of police, could she agree that Joe had paid for his crime?

Am I holding something against him?

“Nothing in this world will bring back Mandy’s parents or change what happened that night,” Hanna said, looking past Jared to the roadway, thinking out loud. “I know that. Maybe the bottom line is, I just don’t know what to say to him.” She redirected her gaze to Jared. “Am I supposed to tell him I forgive him? Do I pretend that he didn’t tear my mom up, destroy my childhood?”

“That’s something else that can’t be changed. What do you expect him to do about that now? You survived, came out stronger I bet. There is something to Romans 8:28.”

“You think that I should say yes.”

“Doesn’t matter what I think or don’t think.” He held out both hands palms up. “Here”—he raised up his left—“is you saying no and never having the chance to talk to Joe about anything, and here”—he lowered his left and raised his right—“is you saying yes and making the mayor and maybe the whole town angry but opening the dialogue with the man who ruined your mother’s life. Same weight, but what can you live with?”

Hanna folded her arms. Jared was right. It did all come down to what she could live with. She felt as if a weight slipped off her back and she could stand up straight. An issue that had seemed so clouded a few minutes ago was now crystal clear. Jared did that for her. He seemed to have a clearer vision when it came to difficult subjects.

When they were in high school, Marcus Marshall was interviewed about his bookMurders at Beecher’s Mine Cabin. It was an anniversary interview, she didn’t remember which one, and itstirred the subject up again. It was Jared who helped her navigate the questions and the stares.

“It’s history, it will always be history. Just make peace with it.”

He had come to dinner and even helped calm her mother down.

“That’s an even-keeled guy,”her mother said, high praise coming from Paula for any man. Hanna wanted to give him a hug. She resisted.

“Thanks, Jared,” she said now, then stood, and so did he. “You helped me put things in perspective.”

“I wish all problems caused by stuff were so easy. Glad I could help.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, and Hanna stepped past him.

She turned back when she reached the bottom step. “Why do you think it makes the mayor so angry?”

“I have thoughts.” He leaned against a support post. “She is sweet on Everett; everyone at the station knows that. Maybe she’s worried about how this will affect him. Then again, she grew up here too. What is she, ten or fifteen years older than us? Maybe it ruined her teen years in some way. But I would not give her attitude too much sway in your decision.”

Hanna reached her cruiser and opened the door. “When do you have to go back to the fire line?”

“Couple hours. The wind dying down has helped a lot. Before you go, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, what?”

He hopped down one step. “How about dinner one night? Prove you’re not avoiding me. I’ve been back awhile and I’d really like to have time to catch up.”

The question both surprised and excited Hanna.Yeswas on the tip of her tongue. It took a beat for her to answer. She wouldlike to sit down someplace quiet and get reacquainted with Jared. Better sense prevailed.

“Dinner? Ah, I’m seeing someone.”

“We’re friends, Hanna. Friends talk. Years ago, it was easy for us.”

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