Page 8 of The Shots You Take

Riley exhaled. “I’m barely holding it together.”

“Of course you aren’t. What can we do to help?”

A shaky, humorless laugh escaped Riley. “Nothing. I mean…right?”

Tom nodded, his warm brown eyes full of sympathy. “Do you need any errands done, or maybe some help around your house? It’s planting season…”

“No, it’s fine. I’m okay,” Riley said. He really was. He’d already put a lot of work into starting his seeds for spring, andeverything was going smoothly in the greenhouse. “It’s just a hobby anyway.”

Darren looked horrified. “Don’t pretend that garden isn’t your life.”

Riley smiled a bit. “I’ve got a handle on it. Besides, it’s still sugar season. You guys are busy enough.”

“Never too busy for you,” Darren said. “Especially now.”

“Why don’t you come to dinner this week sometime,” Tom suggested. “Just us.”

Riley appreciated the clarification. Darren and Tom often hosted dinner parties for what they liked to call the “who’s who of queer Maritimers.” They were popular hosts, with their beautiful cabin-style house on their scenic and secluded maple farm. “Yeah,” he said. “Okay, maybe.”

“You can come every night if you want,” Darren said earnestly.

Riley glanced around the kitchen, which was heaving with food containers that hadn’t even been opened yet. “I think I’ll be good for dinner for a while.” If he ever felt like eating again.

“The invitation is there. Anytime.” Darren hugged him again. “We love you.”

“Love you too.” Riley had grown up with Darren, though they’d traveled in different circles. Riley had been a local star hockey player with hockey player friends, and Darren had been…well. Probably pretty lonely. He’d been singled out as “different” from an early age. Riley hadn’t paid much attention to him until they were teenagers. By then Riley had figured out he himself was attracted to men, and he’d also noticed that Darren—tall and slim and blond—was sort of beautiful. They’d fooled around in high school, before Riley had gone to play junior hockey in Moncton, and then again during his summers home. It was an easy arrangement that was certainly convenient in a small town. When Riley went to Toronto, he’dstayed in touch with Darren, and they’d hooked up during that first summer too, but it had never been romantic. Eventually, Darren met Tom and fell hard in love. Riley had been deep in love with Adam by then, and jealous that the man Darren loved actually loved him back.

“You guys should head home,” Riley said. “It’s getting late.” It was already dark, and the farm was a twenty-minute drive away.

“Canyouhead home?” Tom asked. “This is probably torture for you.”

“Kind of. But it’s okay. I’ll stay a bit.”

“I’m texting you tomorrow morning,” Darren warned. “And if you don’t reply I’llcall. I swear to god.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” Tom said affectionately, “don’t threaten your friend.” He clapped Riley on the shoulder. “Get some sleep tonight, okay?”

“People keep suggesting that,” Riley said. “I’m starting to think I don’t look amazing.”

His friends laughed politely at his sad joke. “You’re stunning as always,” Darren insisted.

They left, and Riley stayed for another hour or so. By that point he was barely registering what was going on around him. Mom found him leaning against a doorframe with his eyes closed.

“Riley,” she said gently, “go home, sweetie. People are leaving now anyway.”

“I’ll help clean up.”

“We have plenty of people who have offered to help with that, but I’ll be shooing them out soon too. I need to go to bed.”

Riley nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Is Lindsay…?”

“She put the girls to bed and conked out with them. Josh is still mingling, God love him.”

“She married a good one,” Riley said.

“She did. She learned that from me, you know.”

They both smiled sadly. She deserved so many more years with her husband. They’d been an amazing couple. Absolute relationship goals, in Riley’s opinion.

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