Page 6 of The Shots You Take

In summary, Adam was lonely. He was used to being constantly scheduled and busy and focused on winning and self-improvement. He’d been the captain of a top-ranked NHL team, a husband, and a father, all since his midtwenties. Now he was a largely unnecessary father with a busted shoulder, fumbling his way through hookups.

And he was in a motel in Nova Scotia, trying to, what? Win the heart of a man who hated him now? Of course not. He wasn’t that delusional. He only wanted to try to repair some of the damage between Riley and himself. He wanted to apologize, and maybe he wanted Riley to apologize too, becauseit hadn’t all been Adam’s fault. Most of it, probably, but not all. Adam had made some bad decisions, but he hadn’t been the one to throw their friendship away. He never would have chosen to do that.

The truth was, before it all went to hell, Riley had kind of been Adam’s whole world. Obviously there’d been hockey, but Riley had been such a big part of that too. Even after Adam was married with kids, Riley had been a part of the family. Lucy and Cole had no memory of “Uncle” Riley now, but he’d adored those kids. If Maggie had found it weird, having Riley around so much, she’d never said anything. Maybe she’d thought it was part of the hockey wife package.

Adam probably should have realized then that he was gay and in love with his best friend. Or maybe he should have realized far sooner, during the many times he’d had sex with Riley before Adam was married. Or the one time he’d had sex with him after he was married.

Adam had been horrified with himself after that one time, but in the moment, when he’d been deep inside him and he’d had Riley’s huge hands on his hips, all Adam had felt was relief and joy. Like he’d been exactly where he should be.

It had been the end of everything. The end of Adam trying to have it all. He’d panicked afterward, and no doubt hurt Riley badly. And then Riley had gone to Dallas, stopped talking to him, and left Adam reeling while also trying to make the most of the situation he’d put himself in. It hadn’t been awful: marriage to a woman he truly liked a lot, two wonderful kids, an impressive hockey career, and a whole lot of money. But through it all, there was a giant Riley-shaped hole in Adam’s life.

“And that,” Adam said to the empty hotel room, “is exactly why you’re staying for at least another day or two.” He had no plan, and no expectations, but he was here. And it was a start.

Chapter Four

There was a gathering at Riley’s parents’ house the night of the funeral, because that’s what people did here. Especially when someone like Harvey Tuck died.

“Here,” Lindsay said, handing Riley a paper plate full of food. “Eat.”

“Not hungry,” he said, but he took the plate. Lindsay sat beside him on the love seat in the sunroom at the front of the house. They were mercifully alone in there. Riley had needed an escape from people.

“There’s ham,” Lindsay said. “You like ham.”

“Thanks.” Riley did like ham. “How are Katie and Allison holding up?”

“They’re going to miss their grampy,” Lindsay said, “but they seem okay. Josh has been a rock for all of us, God love him.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you have them.”

Lindsay sighed and leaned her head against his bicep. “I want you to have someone.”

“I’ve got Lucky.” He nodded at the large, golden-brown lump snoring away on top of the heat vent in the corner.

“I saw Adam Sheppard was at the funeral.”

“Yep,” Riley said stiffly, recognizing the obvious segue. “I think everyone did.”

“Did you talk to him?”

Riley’s hand started shaking. He set the plate on the floor. “Not much.”

“Nice of him to come.”

“Is it?”

“Is he staying in town for a bit, or—”

“I don’tknow, Lindsay. Jesus.” A horrible silence filled the room, then Riley said, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s been a hell of a day.”

Riley exhaled. “Yeah. Fuck.”

“I keep expecting to see Dad in there, with everyone,” Lindsay said, nodding behind them at the crowded house.

“Me too.”

They were silent a while, then Lindsay said, “You should stay here tonight. Sleep on the couch or something. You shouldn’t be alone.”

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