Page 4 of The Shots You Take

Adam’s eyes went wide and alert, and his mouth fell open. Riley’s heart possibly stopped beating as he waited.

Then Adam laughed. “Come on,” he said. “We’re not like that.”

Riley was frozen as dread and humiliation washed over him. Adam must have noticed because he stopped laughing. “Riles,” he said gently, “this isn’t—”

“I know,” Riley said. Then he forced a smile that probably looked deranged. “Yeah. I know. Sorry. I was just…” He left the bed in a hurry before the tears came. Before the situation could get any more embarrassing.

Alone in the bathroom, Riley pressed a hand hard against his mouth and blinked at the ceiling. He’d miscalculated. He’d ruined everything. Would Adam even want to be friends with him anymore?

Later, when he returned to his bedroom, Adam was gone. Riley wasn’t surprised.

The next morning, Adam was whistling as he entered the kitchen. Riley was sitting at the table, forcing himself to eat cereal despite having a stomach full of anxiety.

“Mornin’,” Adam said. “Is there coffee?”

[^%]“Not yet. Sorry.”

“It’s cool. I’ll make it.”

The sounds of Adam opening cupboards and containers filled the kitchen, while Riley’s heart threatened to beat out of his chest. When the coffee started brewing, Adam said, “You think Coach is finally going to switch up the penalty kill today?”

Okay. So they weren’t going to talk about it. Riley was relieved that Adam was willing to overlook Riley’s confession, but he also wanted to scream. What the fuck did Riley have to do to make Adam interested in talking about all the sex they’d had? Was it really possible that Adam didn’t have a single feeling about it?

“Maybe,” Riley said, answering Adam’s question in what he hoped was a steady and casual tone. “We’ve gotta dosomethingabout it.”

“Yeah, it’s been a mess lately.”

Adam stretched his arms over his head, and Riley fixed his gaze on his cereal so he wouldn’t have to see the sexy sliver of stomach that always revealed itself whenever Adam did that. He considered, for the zillionth time, moving out. Finding his own place. Giving himself space from a man who couldn’t love him back.

He wished he was strong enough to do that. He wished Adam could be terrible, because besides his aversion to talking about the sex stuff, he was a perfect friend. Honestly, his only crime was not being in love with Riley, and Riley could hardly blame him for that.

He wondered, now that Adamknew, would the sex end? And if it did, would that be Adam punishing him, or doing him a favor? Either way, it would be agony.

Chapter Three

April 2024

“I shouldn’t have come,” Adam said as soon as Maggie answered her phone.

“Didn’t go well, huh?”

“I think he wanted to punch me.”

“I did suggest you call him first,” Maggie reminded him. “He’d be emotional right now. He doesn’t need surprises.”

“He’s always emotional,” Adam said automatically. As if he had the right. As if he had any idea what Riley Tuck was like these days. “But yeah. I should have called. Or just, y’know. Stayed home. Left him alone.”

“How is he?” Maggie asked in a softer voice. The question made Adam’s lingering anger—at Riley, at himself—disappear.

The shitty bed in his shitty motel room creaked as he sat on it, the mattress dipping nearly to the worn carpet. “He looks miserable,” Adam said. “It hurt to see him, honestly. I wanted to…” Even though Maggie knew as close to everything as anyone who wasn’t Adam or Riley was going to get, he still struggled to get the words out. “Hold him,” he finished.

“Oh, Adam.”

“You should have heard the speech he gave at the funeral. I don’t know how he was even able to do it, but everything he said was sobeautiful, y’know? He loved his dad so much.” Adam had experienced a million emotions at once, as he’d watched Riley read his eulogy. He’d been heartbroken for Riley, but also proud of him, and also surprised, because Riley had never been much of a talker. Adam had shared the anxiety that he’d felt in the room as everyone wondered together if Riley would make it through his speech without crumbling. No one would have blamed him if he hadn’t, but he’d gotten to the end, his voice rough and on the knife’s edge of bursting into tears. He’d nodded at the full church when he’d finished, looking bewildered like he had no idea when all those people had gotten there. Adam had wanted to take him by the hand and tell him he’d done great. That it was over. He’d wanted to sit beside him with a comforting hand on his back. He’d wanted so many things that he couldn’t have, and shouldn’t even let himself want.

“I’m glad you went,” Maggie said.

“Me too. But now it’s over, and I’m not sure I’m much use to him. I should leave. Tomorrow. Tonight, maybe.” The bed creaked in agreement.

---