Page 36 of The Shots You Take

“Don’t” was all Riley could say. “Please don’t.”

“I can’t,” Adam said, his voice still shaking. “I fuckingcan’t. Why did you—fuck. We shouldn’t have—”

“You wanted to,” Riley said desperately. “You wantthis.”

Adam shook his head. “No. I want—I need to go home.”

Riley crawled to the end of the bed and began to beg. “Adam, please don’t do this.”

Adam’s eyes changed then. There was something more than fear there, more than sympathy. It was like Adam was looking at everything he’d ever wanted, but also knew he was about to walk away from it.

“I’m sorry,” Adam said, barely more than a whisper. “I’m so fucking sorry, Riles.”

Riley reached a hand out, absolutely pathetic. “Don’t go.”

Adam squeezed his eyes shut. “I have to.” He exhaled hard, his breath shuddering, then began to get dressed.

Riley left the bed and stood, naked and furious, in front of Adam. “You do want this, Shep. Stop fucking lying to yourself.”

Despite his damp eyes, Adam’s voice was steady when he said, “This was a mistake. And it never happened, okay?”

It was a killing blow. Riley deflated instantly, then watched silently as Adam finished getting dressed. He didn’t bother following him out of the bedroom, but he flinched when he heard the apartment door close.

And he knew, in that moment, that he needed to get away from Adam for good.

Chapter Twelve

April 2024

It took twenty-seven years for Riley to achieve his dream of winning the Stanley Cup, and he’d spent the fourteen years since trying to forget that night.

Sometimes the memories hit Riley hard, and last night had been one of those times. He’d left Darren and Tom’s house feeling lighter, but then everything had crashed down on him when he’d been tossing and turning alone in bed. Once the sun had risen, Riley gave up on sleep and took Lucky for a walk.

He watched Lucky run ahead of him on the foggy beach, wishing he had the energy to run alongside him. Jogging was Riley’s main source of exercise these days, and he especially loved beach runs, but it wasn’t happening today.

The sky matched his mood: dark and foggy. The fog blocked the view of any houses lining the two arms of land that curled around the bay, making Riley feel alone. He liked that. Here there was nothing but the rhythmic crashing of the small waves, the sand under his sneakers, and maybe the occasional seabird. There were no papers to sign, no expectations to meet, and no Adam Sheppard.

Except therewasAdam Sheppard because Riley couldn’t get the man out of his head. As he watched Lucky dance around a wave, Riley tried to fight the memories that wanted to drag him under.

This was a mistake. And it never happened, okay?

Riley’s chest ached now like it had then.

“Lucky!” Riley called out. “We gotta go.”

Lucky glanced at him over his shoulder with an expression that Riley interpreted as,“But I found something really cool.”It was probably a crab shell.

“Five minutes,” Riley said, as if Lucky wore a watch.

Adam being divorced didn’t mean anything. It didn’tchangeanything. It didn’t mean Adam regretted his choices; it didn’t mean he’d left his wife for Riley. It definitely didn’t mean that Riley should get his hopes up, even a little. He shouldn’twantto.

Why was it so impossible for Riley to be normal about Adam Sheppard?

“Come on,” Riley called out again. This time, Lucky obeyed, bounding over to him with something in his mouth.

“What did you find?” Riley asked when Lucky reached him. Lucky dropped a small chunk of soggy wood at his feet, then sat, excitedly awaiting Riley’s review.

“Yep, that’s neat,” Riley said, and scratched Lucky’s ears. “Good job.”

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