Page 61 of The Shots You Take

“I will never regret my kids, Riley.” Adam’s voice was tight and angry. “Don’t try to make them sound like a failure of any kind.”

“I’m sorry. I’m—” Riley took a deep breath, then exhaled in a whoosh. “I’m upset.”

“I know.”

“I can’t fucking think when you’re around.”

“I’m sorry.”

“My dad died, Adam. He diedlast week. And then you showup at the funeral four days later and then you’re fucking helping me at the shop and telling me you missed me. It’s fucking too much.”

Adam stepped toward him. “I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.”

“That’s all you’ve ever done, Shep. You overwhelm me. It’s terrifying.”

“I know. I feel the same way. Always have.”

In the lamplight, Adam looked soft and tired and achingly beautiful. Riley closed his eyes. He felt like he was about to shatter into a million pieces.

Riley’s hands were curled into fists again at his sides, and Adam wrapped a hand around one of them. “I always hated watching you fight.”

“It was part of the job.”

“I mean against yourself. I just wanted to jump inside your head and tell whatever demons were in there to fuck off.”

Riley huffed, then opened his eyes. “Sometimes it felt like you did.”

Adam’s smile was so tender, it made Riley forget why they were arguing. All that existed in the world, suddenly, were Adam’s lips, his sad but hopeful eyes, his hand on Riley’s.

“Riley—” Adam whispered, but Riley cut him off by kissing him.

Chapter Eighteen

For a few dizzy seconds, Adam couldn’t think. His brain was completely consumed by Riley’s lips on his, and the staggering blend of relief and excitement that came with it. Riley was kissing him, and Adam, after a brief moment of surprise, was kissing him back. Riley’s hands were on Adam’s face, and Adam was being walked backward until he bumped against a wall. Then Riley waseverywhere, his tongue in Adam’s mouth, his moans in Adam’s ears, and his thigh between Adam’s legs. Adam was hard almost instantly, and he grabbed at Riley’s shirt, trying to pull him impossibly closer.

You overwhelm me.

Adam could feel the desperation in Riley’s kiss, and in the way he was now rocking against him. The familiarity of it was both thrilling and terrifying. As Adam’s senses returned, he knew he had a choice to make: he could think with his dick and let this happen, or he could finally make the right decision when it came to Riley Tuck.

He broke the kiss and gently shoved on Riley’s chest, creating space. “Riley,” he said, somewhat breathlessly, “I don’t—”

That was all he was able to say before Riley let out an anguished sound that was close to a howl, then staggered awayfrom him. Riley gripped his own hair with both hands, as if he was trying to tear his skull open. Then he crumpled to the floor.

Adam went to him immediately, crouching beside him and placing his hands on Riley’s shoulders. He’d helped Riley through emotional overloads like this before, but he’d never witnessed one he’d been the cause of. God, how many had he been the cause of? “Hey, hey, no. Riley, look at me.”

“Why am I so fuckingstupid?” Riley said in a horrible, broken voice.

“You’re not stupid. You’re not. You’re amazing.”

“Shutup!” Riley practically screamed the words. “Why do you keep doing this to me?”

“Riley,” Adam said, barely above a whisper, trying to sound calm even though his heart was racing. “Riley. Listen to me. Please. I’m not rejecting you.”

Riley tucked his head down farther, burying his face in his forearms while he continued to pull at his own hair.

“I’m not rejecting you,” Adam repeated, some of the panic he felt leaking into his voice now. “Riley, I want to kiss you. I want to do so many things with you, but not like this.”

“Fuck you.”

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