Page 2 of The Shots You Take

Riley didn’t answer. He just stared and waited.

“I’m sorry,” Adam said.

Riley scoffed. He wanted to ask “for what” because there was a list, as far as he was concerned.

“I loved your dad,” Adam said. “I couldn’t believe it when I heard.”

“How did you hear?”

“Maggie follows your mom on Facebook. She saw the obituary.”

Riley was pleased to notice that the name Maggie didn’t feel like a knife piercing him anymore. He liked Adam’s wife, truly. And he couldn’t blame her for loving Adam any more than he could blame Adam for not loving him.

“Riles,” Adam said softly. He put a hand on Riley’s forearm, where the damp cotton of his white dress shirt stuck to his skin. “I’m so sorry. I know how much your dad meant to you.”

And the thing was, Adam did know. He knew almost everything about Riley.

“Your speech was…” Adam blew out a breath. “Man. It was awesome. Awesome.”

“Thanks,” Riley said quietly. Adam’s hand was still on his arm, warm through the cold cotton. He heard himself say, “I almost didn’t do it. I didn’t think I could.”

“You always sell yourself short.”

That’s when Riley remembered that he was mad at Adam. “How the fuck would you know?”

Adam removed his hand. “I know it’s been a while…”

“Awhile,” Riley said, too loudly. “It’s been twelve fucking years.”

A hint of anger flashed in Adam’s eyes. “Is that my fault?”

Riley glared at him, furious at himself for not having an answer to spit back at him. Because yes, it was Adam’s fault, but also, no, it wasn’t. It was just a fucking mess of a thing that neither of them had wanted to clean up. And now it was too late.

“I tried to reach out. At first,” Adam said.

Riley gazed up at the gray sky. He couldn’t look at Adam. “Okay.”

“You told me not to contact you. You fucking said those words, Riles.”

You were supposed to ignore them, Riley thought.You were supposed to know I needed you.

“I can’t do this right now,” Riley said, meeting his eyes. “It’s been a fucking week, and I have to go across the street and put Dad in the ground.” He gestured to the cemetery behind them. “So, thank you for coming or whatever, but please fuck off.”

Adam sighed and looked away. “This was a mistake,” he muttered.

“Wouldn’t be your first. Goodbye,Shep.” Riley turned and walked away before Adam could reply, and before Adam could see the tears in his eyes.

Chapter Two

January 2007

“I’m bored. Wanna get some air?”

Riley felt the words against his ear, a soft puff of breath from Adam’s lips, and his heart began racing. Now? Tonight? When the team was out celebrating at a club, and Riley had spent the past hour trying to ignore the way women had been pressing themselves against Adam on the dance floor and the way Adam had pressed right back against them, eyes hooded and cheeks flushed. Riley had written the night off as a lost cause ages ago, like so many others.

But now the tip of Adam’s nose was dangerously close to Riley’s temple, and Riley wanted to tilt his head right here in this bar, to expose his neck to Adam’s lips. To expose himself to everyone.

“Yeah,” Riley said. “I do.”

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