Topless and exposed, Tucker surveys the bare skin before him and then kneels, one knee on the bed as he lays me on my back.
He hovers over me as his mouth finds my breasts. His hot, wet tongue makes contact first. I moan and he responds by taking my nipple in his mouth and bares down, sucking harder.
He begins a slow cascade of kisses down my stomach, stopping at my panty line. His hands move between my legs, and he groans. "Is this how wet you get for me? Christ, Lexi."
God, I want to lose myself in him. I want to let go and let the chips fall where they may. But I just can’t.
Six years ago Tucker wanted me to leave my dreams of becoming a V.P. for my father’s company, so I could stand in his shadow while he made it to the NFL.
Two years later, Tucker got drafted thousands of miles away. Long distance and his reputation as the NFL’s playboy made a real relationship seem unrealistic.
But right now, underneath him, there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be. Except for maybe on top.
I reach for his thick forearm to pull his attention from the area of my body that is consuming his attention.
"Can we agree to one thing for tonight?" I ask.
That I get to keep my heart after this.
"Okay…?" He gives a skeptical look.
"It’s just tonight."
Otherwise, I might not survive.
"This feels a little like deja vu, Lex."
"I know, but listen, your QB just dropped a bomb and he's retiring. There’s a rumor that trades might be happening through your franchise. We have no idea if you’ll be traded – where you would end up. My dad is giving me my first solo merger, which will take the whole summer to close. And, there is still a huge distance between us." I pause, noticing he’s not happy. "Please, Tucker. We can do anything you want tonight. You can purge me from your system..."
Now he looks pissed as he frowns down at me.
"Purge you from my system? Lexi! I want to fucking lock this down. Like I wanted to the summer we spent at the lake house. Like I should have every single year since." He runs his fingersthrough his hair as he walks away from me with a frustrated sigh.
"I didn’t know you felt this strongly."
"You said we should wait until after you finished college and you were established with your dad’s company. You wanted to wait until we had a chance to see where I would end up in the NFL. Well, here we are, Lexi. Six years later and we’re further from that happening than when I agreed to your terms. Now, we’re barely on speaking terms. I tried to see you several times over the years when I was in town during the off season and holidays. You were either out of town on business or trying to find another excuse to avoid me."
"That’s not true!"
Yes, it is.
"I wasn’t avoiding you."
Yes, I was.
"Our timing just sucks." Most of the time, I was out of town for work when he came to Chicago, but even if I hadn’t been, I would have made an excuse.
He was a hot commodity. Every man wanted to be him, every woman wanted to be with him…how could I compete with that? I couldn’t and I didn’t want to. Coupled with thousands of miles of space between us – we didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of making it work. But at this moment, that all feels like a lie I had told myself. Could we have made it work? I am so confused now.
Eventually, I didn’t need to make excuses because over time, his texts asking to see me the last couple of years had dwindled. He had given up. And I was disappointed, but also, maybe a small part of me used it as proof that our relationship would have dwindled too.
He comes closer to me and grabs my hands in his, circling the top of my hand with his thumb. "I don’t want to waste the limited time we have arguing about the past. If all you’re givingme is tonight, I’d count this as still the best way to celebrate my win. Wrapped around the only thing that’s ever mattered to hold onto."
I remember him saying the same things at the lake house. That warm summer finds its way back into my mind repeatedly since we’ve been apart.
Finding out that my older brother’s best friend had hidden feelings for me. Finding out how deep my feelings for him ran.
Giving him my virginity.