Page 73 of The Love Simulation

“I’m starting a foundation to help spread literacy and provide books for school-aged children.” Each time I say it, a thrill runs through me as something in me shouts,Yes! This is the right path.

Roman nods. “I think you’ll do phenomenally, Bri. I really do.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

As we stand in another round of awkward silence, a weight begins to press on my chest. It’s so hard to stand in front of him and have all these memories of good times we shared ruined by our last days together. For probably the hundredth time, I want to go yell at Principal Major.

This time Roman is the one to break eye contact as his gaze shifts away from me and he blinks. He clears his throat. “I, um, wanted to give you something.”

He takes a few steps forward, closing the distance between us, and my stomach does a flip-flop at his nearness. He’s not close enough for me to touch, but I can smell his fresh cologne.

He hands me a notebook I recognize.

“Is this your journal?” I look at the orange notebook in my hand.

“I know that it was messed up how everything went down and that this won’t absolve me of anything, but, well, I guess I’m hoping…Damn, I don’t know what I’m hoping for. But I want you to have this. Is that okay?”

He looks so lost that I’m at a loss for words and all I can do is nod.

“Okay. Good.” Roman nods once and takes a step back, away from me. Finally, he turns around, and I see him head inside the school.

I go to my car. Instead of driving away after starting the engine, I look at the outside of Roman’s journal, weighing it in my hands. Even though curiosity ate at me for weeks, wondering what thoughts or secrets he was revealing in here, after kicking him out of the Hab I couldn’t bring myself to then intrude on his privacy. But now he’s given me explicit permission. The need for self-restraint is gone. Still in my seat with the AC blasting, I open the journal and start reading the entries.

By the time I’m done, my hands are shaking. Roman was telling the truth the whole time. He never planned on doing his dad’s bidding. He was really there because he believed in my vision. He believed in me. I look at his last entry, the one he wrote after I heard the message from his dad. While all the entries say something about me—seriously, every single entry mentions me in some capacity—the last one is for me.

Brianna,

I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about my dad’s plan. I know it might be too little too late and that tomorrow when you wake up in the morning, you might decide you don’t want to talk to me ever again. If that’s the case, it’s what I deserve. But I have all these thoughts running in my mind and need to get them out because you know what I’ve realized in five weeks? I’m still learning about myself.

That sounds weird, right? But it’s true. For example, my favorite color used to be black. Now it’s blue.Why blue? It’s just superior. If you don’t believe me, put your coveralls on and look in the mirror. Have you ever noticed how good the color looks on you? Or maybe it looks good because of you. Same thing, right? But there you have it. At my big age of thirty-three, I have a new favorite color.

You know what else I realized? Burgers aren’t my favorite food. Contrary to what you think, I do have taste buds. Remember when we ate that dehydrated vanilla pudding you hated? Swear to God it tasted like heaven to me. Of course, it could’ve been because I could still taste it on your lips when I kissed you that night. Either way, 10/10 would eat dehydrated pudding from your mouth again.

Now this I already knew, but I feel it needs to be said: I can build anything. I’m not bragging. It’s a fact. If you need me to prove it, I’ll build you a bookshelf—no—a whole damn library. I’ll fill it up with any kind of books you like. We’ll start with the whole series for that werewolf book you let me borrow. But for the record, fingers are 10x better than tentacles.

In case you haven’t realized it, all these changes are because of you. You make me want to be a better man. Because of you, I want to be a better man. Do you know how life-changing that is for a man like me? For that I want to say thank you. If I never get the chance or the courage to say it to your face, I also want you to know that you’re amazing and I have fallen so in love with you.

And now I know it’s not over for us. How can it be, when I help to bring out the best in him and he lets me just beme? He’s my perfect match.

I turn off my engine and bolt out of my car.

I run inside, trying to decide which way Roman would have gone. I take a gamble and head toward the administration offices. I see him coming out of the office and into the hallway. He stops when he sees me.

I’m still clutching the journal. Breathless, I hold it up. “Did you mean everything you wrote in here?”

“Every single word,” he confirms without reservation.

I close my eyes as relief washes over me. I take in a deep breath and open my eyes. I straighten my shoulders, sure and confident in what I’m going to say next. “How about we start over? After we met, it seems like things got off on the wrong foot. Let’s do it right this time. All of it.”

Roman’s throat moves as he swallows and lets out a quiet “Okay.” He walks up to me and shoots the friendliest and most open smile my way. “Hello, I’m Roman. It’s nice to meet—”

Before he can finish, I do exactly what I wanted to the first time we met, a year ago. I stand on my tiptoes, wrap my arms around his neck to bring him to my level, and smash my lips into his.

When we pull apart, I’m breathless, but my heart is so full. “You had me at hello,” I say against his lips before we kiss again.

“I’m so sorry about everything. But thankful you’re willing to give me a second chance. I swear I won’t let you down again,” he says.

“The only way you could let me down is if you started hiding who you are. You may think I bring out the best in you, but I’m only helping you see the man who is already there. The man I love.”

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