Page 66 of The Love Simulation

He clears his throat and begins. “I’m not going to try and gaslight you. You heard my dad talking about me ruining the mission here.”

At the revelation I knew was coming, I close my eyes. Yes, I knew it was coming, but I can’t even stand to look at Roman as he confirms that my suspicions were correct from the very beginning.

“He really doesn’t want that library built,” Roman continues. “When he found out you were joining the simulation to get the money for the library anyway, he wanted me to come in and make sure it wasn’t successful.Youweren’t successful.”

“And, what? You just went along with it?” How could I have allowed myself to believe him? I knew what his motives were from the jump. But my stupid—because there is absolutely no other word for it—crush on him had me behaving like a hormonal preteen, glad the cool and sexy kid was showing me attention.

“I let him think I was going along with it.”

I don’t hold his gaze. And I don’t believe him.

“Bri,” he pleads. “You’ve got to believe that the only one I was fooling was my dad.”

I explode from the bed. “Here’s what I know,Mr. Major. From the very beginning, I asked why you were here. I knew it was because of your dad, and yet you denied it.” I hold up my pointer finger and begin ticking off his offenses. “I know we’ve had mysterious breakdowns like, I don’t know, the damn sprinklers overwatering the dandelions. Maybe it’s a coincidence, maybe it’s by design. I know that on one of our most crucial tasks, getting the antenna fixed, you happened to come down with a migraine and couldn’t help. Funny how you didn’t have one all school year. And I know”—my voice breaks as I pop a third finger up—“all school year you’ve done nothing but ignore me. But suddenly we’re here, where the stakes are as high as can be, and your dad has sent you on a mission to derail everything. Well, what better way to get me distracted than to pretend to be into me.” My chin is trembling, and hot, angry, ugly tears are falling down my cheeks, but I don’t care. My heart is breaking and I need to let it out now so it doesn’t suffocate me later. Roman might have been raised by a parent who taught him to be callous and aloof, and it’s clear he wants to honor that. If these tears make him uncomfortable or make me look weak, then so be it.

“It’s not like that, Brianna,” Roman says softly. His tone is so heartbreakingly sad, it gets through the haze. “I know all those things you mentioned make me seem suspect. I won’t try to explain any of it away. But the one thing I will fight until you hear me is that I did not try to get close to you to distract you. My intentions with you have always been to make you mine. Even knowing you’re everything that’s good in this world, Earth, and especially Mars, and I don’t deserve to be with you, let alone breathe the same air as you do.”

With each word he utters, my heart grows softer and softer. I’m quickly losing the will to fight against him. What if I put on my space suit and ran for the highest hill? Would that be enough distance to keep his words from penetrating my heart? If I actually went to Mars, would that do it?

“I want to be with you, Brianna. If you don’t believe anything else, believe that. Everything I feel for you, everything you feel for me, it’s all real.”

I want to clamp my hands over my ears and shake my head no. I don’t want to hear these pretty words. But at the same time, I want to bathe in them. Luxuriate in every syllable, every consonant, and let them be a balm to my stinging heart.

“Roman,” I plead. I need him to stop talking before I do something stupid like forgive him.

But he doesn’t. He gets right in my personal space and cups my cheeks in his hands. “Everything between us is real.” He repeats it over and over, trying to make me believe him. Trying to make me trust him again.

It takes effort, but I back out of his hold and put some much-needed space between us. I’m able to think a little clearer without the distraction of his touch.

I’ve been built up then let down by him three times now. When I found out he’d been telling the teachers I was leaving. When he blindsided me by showing up as part of our team. And now that I’ve found out he’s been lying about his purpose here. Three strikes, you’re out. He may be saying all the right things, but I would be dumb to let this go and not expect to be hurt again.

I shake my head. “This isn’t something I can just forgive and forget. You should have told me from the very beginningabout your dad’s plans, especially when I asked you point-blank. Now I don’t know if I can trust you.” I swallow and take a deep breath. “I need time. By myself.”

Roman watches silently as I climb into the bed and close the screen, leaving him on the other side. Our day isn’t even close to done, but I can’t be near him right now.

After a few moments, I hear his footsteps move farther away, and the door opens and shuts as he leaves the bedroom.

Chapter Twenty-Three

I stay in my bed all day and try to distract myself from Principal Major’s voice replaying in my mind, and Roman’s confession. My hours are spent alternating between reading the same pages in one of my books and staring at the lights that line the bed.

Some time later, Roman comes back in the room. I hold my breath when I hear his footsteps pause beside my bed, then let it out when I hear him climb into a different one. When the day is over and I should be sleeping, there’s an ever-revolving door of questions and doubts running through my head.

Was Roman really telling the truth when he said his dad was the one he was lying to, or was he trying to save face? Did he read every manual he could to know how to fix the various gadgets, or was it to learn each machine inside and out so that on our last day here everything would fail with no possible way to fix it all?

I huff out a breath, hating the doubts flowing through my mind and how my imagination is coming up with all sorts of diabolical things I was certain Roman wouldn’t do. Or would he?

“Are you awake?” Roman asks from the other side of the screen. His voice sounds clear and devoid of the sexyraspiness he normally has when he wakes up, confirming that he didn’t sleep either.

“I’m awake,” I say, and lift the screen. I’ve hidden long enough, and now it’s time to face the new day.

When I slide out of the bed and stand up, it’s a punch to my chest when I see Roman waiting a few feet away. He looks horrible, with dark bags under his eyes and a small frown tugging at his lips. Ifeelhorrible, like my heart’s been ripped out and stomped on. I get the sense everything that happened yesterday could melt away if I reached out to him and made contact. My hand itches to grab hold of his, give us both some kind of assurance everything will be fine, but self-preservation keeps my arms locked to my sides.

He opens his mouth, and with my emotions so topsy-turvy, I know I’m not in the mental state to hear more apologies or explanations.

“I guess we better go out there and get started,” I say before he has the chance to utter any words.

His shoulders lift on a sigh and he nods. “Yeah. Okay.”

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