Page 72 of Blood of Two Crowns

My brows pinched with both frustration.

“Which means…?”

Miroslav heaved a sigh, rubbing his temples between thumb and forefinger. The gesture made me recognize how exhausted he actually looked. The male had always seemed so imperturbable that I’d forgotten the fact that he was, indeed, susceptible to stress.Even if he seemed above it.

“It means that he doesn’t know who orwhathe is and has little to no control over his power.”

My face scrunched up in confusion.

“I’m sorry…What?”

“Keres forced him to drink from the River Oblivion.”

Chapter

Forty-One

MAREINA

Waking up beside Ataraxus where he’dspoonedme to sleep—after he’d displayed an astounding level of self-restraint and integrity—felt as surreal as it felt natural. With my face buried in the firm, muscular cushion of his chest, his arms wrapped around me, and our legs woven together like we’d come into this world that way. His chest rose and fell slowly as I peered up at him. My heart began to race as memories of my dream filtered in, and my memories settled.

The suffocating weight of guilt and unworthiness that had shadowed me all my life began to lift, replaced by a quiet spark of purpose.Inspiration.Though remorse would always live in my heart, I would no longer allow it to shackle me. At some point, when walking through those memories housed within my uncle’s crystals, I recognized in stark clarity just how much all that shame had held me back.I’dalways ever been the only person holding me back.

Not Zurie, or duty, or circumstance.

Me.

And continuing to carry the burden of guilt and shame did nothing to serve justice to those I’d wronged. Justice, I realized, laid in devoting myself to the people who needed me. MySoulbound,the people of Atratus, and all the precious souls under my care in Avernus.

At the sight of Ataraxus’ stark, coldly handsome features softened by sleep, my heart swelled with affection.

But oh, sweet fucks, did I have to pee.I carefully disentangled myself from his limbs to relieve myself in the surprisingly functional and well-appointed bathroom. Because we were in a cave, I’d honestly been expecting a hole in the floor.

When I crawled back into bed, Ataraxus gave a deep sigh of contentment as his hand roamed up my hip before dipping to the opposite side of my waist and pulling me firmly against him, incidentally pressing his hardened length and the warm sac beneath, against my stomach and hip.

“… Just pretend it’s not there,”he murmured, voice rough with sleep, eyes closed, and a grin curling his lips.

I chuckled, allowing myself the luxury of wrapping my arms around him. “That’s no small task.”

Ataraxus’ eyes opened to slits as he hummed thoughtfully, wearing a lazy grin on his face. I watched as reality settled back in for him, and his grin faded to something somber.

“How’re you feeling? You’ve been asleep for two days.”

Is that all?I’d had to touch about a gazillion crystals and relive countless memories.

“Nervous… Somnus told me Nakoa and Malekai would arrive sometime after I woke.”

Ataraxus studied me, unsurprised by the information.

“I have to say, I rather admire how well you’re taking…everything.”

I huffed a mirthless laugh. “Oh, no. I’m going to absolutely murder Azrael... but part of me feels reticent to end this moment. Where we’re all still alive, even if we’re separated. And we’ve only just met…”

Whatever softness Ataraxus’ features had been lended from sleep, disappeared as concern filtered through. Desperate to havejust a few more minutesof peace before we all potentially met our doom, I cleared my throat to preface the changing of the subject.

“Thank you, by the way, for…” My words drifted, trying to find the appropriate description for such a bizarre situation.

Ataraxus quirked a brow.

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