Page 74 of The Friend Game

What does she even want to know? What happened between me and Luke? Where he took me to dinner? When am I going to marry him and move out of her guest house?

I can feel my control of the situation slipping. Jill tilts her head, studying me. A small smile tugs up one corner of her mouth...

“I’m in love with Luke!” I burst out, then my hands fly to my mouth, covering it like that will somehow bring the words back. Jill still doesn’t sayanything. The only sign that she’s even heard me is that one perfectly manicured eyebrow slides up. “And I know what you must be thinking,” I go on, because I’m weak and Ican’t takethe weight of her stare, “that I’m not being smart, rushing into a relationship with him like this. A relationship that puts both our jobs in jeopardy. I mean, after yesterday, he’s on probation and you already know Lexie Stone is on a hunt to replace me. If the board meeting doesn’t go well this week, I’ll be out of a job soon. Luke didn't tell anyone who I was, but I’m pretty sure Lexie Stone has figured it out. What if she uses that against me? I’m not sure if the board will view it as a positive or negative that I’m dating the pastor. It’s all a big mess, but I can’t bring myself to care because I love him, Jill! And okay, I’m not sure if he feels the same, but he at least likes me enough to stand up in front of the entire congregation and ask to be released from his contract. So that’s got to mean something, right? Right, Jill?” I break off, chest heaving, and look plaintively across the table at her.

“Well, now we’re getting somewhere,” she says with evident satisfaction. “Do you know, she continues, “that yesterday at church when he went off on his Hannah-tangent, I sat there thinking I am going to kill my little sister. Hannah, how could you not tell me that you and Luke made plans to go on a date when his contract expired?” She doesn’t let meanswer, barreling on. “I can guess why not—you knew I’d tell you what a bad idea I thought that was, and you didn’t want to hear it. But of course I would’ve been right with my warnings! As you’ve already discovered the two of you were incapable of keeping those boundaries in place and now both your jobs hang in the balance.” She lets out a huff of displeasure.

“I was all set to find you and ream you out…but then Max wouldn’t let me. And do you know why he wouldn’t let me?” she asks, eyes narrowing. Again, she doesn’t wait for me to answer. “I’ll tell you why. Because, despite being mobbed by hundreds of people after the service, Pastor Abbott somehow made the time to text Max and ask him to ask menotto give you a hard time about the two of you. I’ll admit, I found this a bit insulting. What must you have been telling him about me, Hannah, that he knew I would give you a hard time?” She shoots me an affronted glare. “But,” she sighs, “then I realized how very sweet it was for him to basically insist on taking the time to reach out to me—all to protect you. My little sister.” Her hand goes to her heart and her eyes are looking a little misty. The sight makes my own tear ducts hop into action.

“Do you know, Hannah, how much I’ve been praying for you to find a good man after what happened with Marshall? A man who loves Jesus, first and foremost, but after that loves you.” Ohgosh, yup. My tear ducts are really working now. Moments like this are why waterproof mascara is a daily necessity—every day is full of opportunities to cry.

“And then Pastor Abbott just goes and demonstrates both of those things!” she exclaims through her own tears. “First by confessing his feelings for you to the congregation in order to do the right thing in the eyes of God, and then by—right in the middle of his own mess—sending Max a message to make sure your needs were taken care of,” she drags in a breath, “proving that he loves you more than he loves himself.”

“Well, I don’t know about love,” I manage to eke out through my waterworks. “He hasn’t said that he loves me.”

“Yeah, because he’s been waiting for March 1,” she says with a laugh. Jill leans forward, holding her hands out for me to take. When I do she gives them a little squeeze. “I’m happy for you, Hannah. But be careful,” she adds. “You do both have your jobs to think about.” She grips my hands harder, like she senses her next question will make me try and pull away. “And have you told him what happened with Marshall?”

My arms do instinctively try to retract my hands from hers, but she holds fast.

“Hannah?”

Slowly, I shake my head. “But I will,” I say quickly. “I’ve been meaning to, it just…hasn’t come up,” I finish lamely.

“You mean,” she says wryly, “he hasn’t asked out of the blue whether or not you’ve dated any married people before?”

“Hey!” I cry, this time managing to wrench my hands free. “That’s not fair, Jill. Marshall was engaged, not married. And more importantly, you know that I didn’t know about his engagement. I was completely wrecked when I found out.”

Jill’s face softens. “Yes, I know, Hannah. But Luke is a pastor. He’s held to a higher standard. It’s sort of like when I was dating Max—I had to be prepared for my past to get scrutinized. You have to be prepared for that too. And it really wouldn’t be fair for Luke to end up getting blindsided by the information.”

“Yes, yes, I know,” I say a bit grouchily. “I’m going to tell him. Just, can’t I at least get through the art show submissions and my meeting with the board first? After all, very few people know that I’m the woman Luke was talking about, and the ones that do are pro-me and Luke.” I feel a tiny twang reminding me that this isn’t completely true…Lexie probably knows about us— but surely she’ll be too busy with the art show and trying to get me fired to bother digging into my past. So it’s fine.

Everything is fine.

“You do what you need to do, Hannah,” Jill says, “but if I were you, I wouldn’t wait.”

***

By lunchtime I’m back to singing. Sure, Jill sobered me up a bit with her, “When are you going to tell Luke about Marshall?” business, but now that I’ve seen Luke three times today—and kissed him twice! Once in his office and once in the pottery room! Both were fast and totally appropriate...and yet, completely exhilarating—I’m on cloud nine once again.

How could I not be? I get to kiss Luke now! To be with him in person and not feel bad about it! What could go wrong in my day?

The answer to this question—which, of course, was intended to be rhetorical and did not require such a fast answer—enters my classroom in the form of an unsmiling Lexie Stone.

“Hannah,” she says by way of greeting, “as I’m sure you’re aware, today is Monday.”

I nod, inhaling through my nose in an attempt to gear myself up for this conversation.Dear Lord,I pray,please send help. Amen.

“The submission deadline is only two days away,” Lexie goes on. “I assume you’ve finalized your choices?”

“I have,” I say, my voice surprisingly steady.

“Well,” she says expectantly, “which of Mia’s drawings did you decide to submit then?”

“As I have told you before, I’ll make the submission announcements on Wednesday. Children who have been chosen to be in the art show will receive a letter with the details of their category and the piece submitted. Surely you don’t want to take away that excitement from Mia?”

Lexie studies me shrewdly. “So you’re saying you do plan on submitting one of Mia’s drawings, but you don’t want to tell me which one just yet?”

I wish I could lie to her. I really do. Then I could enjoy the next two days without her threats and attempts at intimidation bringing me down. Unfortunately, lying to her would only make things worse when she finds the news out on Wednesday. Not to mention, I’m dating a pastor now and lying is definitelynotpastor’s girlfriend type of behavior.

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