Page 70 of The Friend Game

Unfortunately, his kiss left me in some sort of hazy, dreamy state, one where apparently I can’t talk.

That has never happened to me before.

“I don’t know what came over me,” he goes on in response to my silence. “I-I,” he flounders, lifting a hand in the direction of the sanctuary then letting it fall to his leg with a slap. He locks eyes with me again to finish his sentence. “I saw you talking to Connor Wilhelm, who, by the way, I’ve always liked…before today, anyway.” He draws in a breath. “But, dang it, Hannah, when I saw you smile at him and the way he was looking at you–” hebreaks off, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry. That was…I should never have…”

“Luke.” I put a hand on his arm, stopping him. “Were you jealous?”

His answering flush is perhaps the most exhilarating thing I’ve ever seen. Which I know is not very mature of me, okay? I shouldn’t be this delighted that a man was jealous over me.

But I am. So sue me.

Still, despite my delight, I decide to be benevolent and put him out of his misery. “Did you happen to see who I was sitting behind?” I ask him. He shakes his head. “Does the name Morgan Plosner ring a bell?” I ask. “Perhaps if I string it together with the words fried chicken. Something I heard she offered you last week.”

Luke cocks his head at me and a slow smile spreads across his face. “Jealous?” he rumbles.

“Insanely,” I reply, stepping toward him, ready for another kiss. But Luke steps back, holding up his hands. “I’m sorry,” I say quickly, embarrassment flooding me. “I thought…. I mean…I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted to, you know, kiss again. I misread–”

“Hannah,” Luke’s voice is tight as he interrupts me, “you are pushing my self-control to its very limits.”

“Oh.” I sink back against the door, my knees having gone weak beneath me. Right, silly me.Luke and I are not supposed to be kissing because we are just friends. I forgot about all that because well, he’s a really good kisser. A few beats of silence pass, then Luke speaks.

“I’m going to have to tell the elders about us,” he announces. “I hope that’s okay. I’d been planning on asking you if we could, but I wanted to wait until after your meeting with the school board. I didn’t want to mess that up for you, but,” his anguish is evident as he speaks, “now that I’ve gone and kissed you, I’m not sure that I can wait. Not in good conscience anyway. I’m so sorry, Hannah.”

“Luke.” Love for him swells inside me. Yes, Luke is a pastor and as such people hold him to a higher standard. A standard in which kissing me in a storage room when he’s supposed to be staying single per a contract he signed, is an unforgivable offense. But even pastors mess up. I think the fact that he insists on owning up to his mistakes is a representation of his true character. After all, God has shown over and over again that he uses people who are broken–broken, but willing. Broken, but desperate for His grace.

“I was planning on asking you after church if we could tell the elders,” I tell him. “I know we both haven’t felt right about the level of intimacy developing between us despite our commitment to staying just friends until your contract expired. That’s why we’ve stepped back from our friendshipthese last few weeks, but,” I sigh, “I’ve missed you so much, Luke. I really wanted to tell the elders too, but I was worried it was selfish of me to ask you to risk your job for the sake of my conscience.”

“I don’t deserve my job if I continue to lie about the feelings I have for you,” he says firmly. “I can no longer pretend they’re anything but romantic feelings.”

Do not squeal, Hannah,I instruct myself firmly.Don’t do it.

Digging deep for the demureness that is surely somewhere in my genetic code given Jill’s ability to regularly act in such a way, I hold back my squeal and simply smile.

“So when are we going to tell them?” I ask, still smiling.

“The sooner the better.”

Okay. Maybe a tiny squeal just escaped my body. It’s not my fault. I’m noisy by nature. “Agree,” I say quickly, attempting to cover my squeal.

Luke grins at me. “I'll ask the elders if we can hold an emergency meeting tonight.”

“Sounds good. I can make tonight work. Or should I not be there? I don’t know which would be better.”

Luke considers this. “I’m not sure either,” he says, “but it means a lot that you’re willing to standby me. Especially after what I just did.” Again he looks ashamed of himself.

“Are you referring to the way you dragged me in here and kissed me?” I ask lacing my voice with amusement in an effort to get him to stop being so hard on himself.

“Hey, I wouldn’t say I dragged you in here,” he protests, his expression lightening. I’m overcome with the urge to be that person for him—the one who shares his burdens and makes him smile even for just a moment during times of trial.

“You know I’m still waiting to hear what this special project is that I’m supposed to be helping you with,” I tease. Luke looks sheepish.

“I can’t believe I said that,” he says with a groan. “I wasn’t thinking straight. You have that effect on me,” he says ruefully. “Ever since I caught you doing the Lego robot with a bunch of kindergartners I’ve been out of sorts—running carnival cake walks when I’m supposed to be mingling, procuring pottery wheels, saving an after school art club accused of producing phallic art…” he trails off with a shake of his head. I’ve been smiling as he talks, but my smile fades as his words jolt my brain, reminding me of Lexie Stone and her veiled threat last night.

“Oh gosh, Luke,” I moan. “I forgot all about this, but last night Lexie Stone dropped Ellie off from a playdate and made a smug comment aboutEllie being very informative while she was at their house.”

“Wait, you don’t think Ellie mentioned the FaceTime call she saw between us?”

“I don’t know what else Lexie could’ve been talking about.” I chew my lower lip anxiously. “I would hate for her to rob you of the opportunity to tell the elders on your terms by telling them about us first.” I suck in a breath. “What do you think we should do?”

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