Page 67 of The Friend Game

“Didn’t you know? Deacon Hebert came up with the idea because he wanted Pastor Abbott, or Luke as some of us get to call him,” she waggles her thin white eyebrows at me, “to be focused on the church, but the rest of the elder board only went along with it because they were worried about the effect he’d have on the single women of the congregation. They didn’t want some sort ofBachelor: Pastoral Editionto take place. You’ve seen the man, without that contract in place mandating his singleness, they’d all have descended on him like vultures to roadkill.”

That is a disturbing piece of imagery.

But also, Ihaveseen the man and her assessment is wholly accurate.

“If you take him off the market, though, they’ll all just have to calm down. And better nowthan before March 1, in my opinion. Don’t give any of ‘em a chance to try and get their hooks in ‘im. Morgan Plosner has already been trying that with her wholeI accidentally made too much of this fried chicken and I thought of you, Pastor Abbott. I’m sure a single man like yourself could use a home cooked meal.” She bats her eyelashes. And okay, who the heck is Morgan Plosner? She made him dinner?Ihaven’t even made him dinner!

“Oh don’t worry, dear.” She reaches over and pats my hand. “He’s not interested in Morgan Plosner.”

“How do you know?” I ask, because I’m weak and insecure and fully imagining Morgan to look like an early 2000’s version of Angelina Jolie.

And we all know whatshedid. All of these years later my mom is still upset on behalf of Jennifer Aniston.

“Oh honey,” Etta gives me a knowing look, “because I saw the way he kept sneaking glances at you on Sunday morning. Looked like a lovesick puppy, practically drooling over you.”

I blush at this assessment. As agreed upon, Luke didn’t come over and talk to me this past Sunday. After almost a week of not talking to him every night, it was a total bummer– even if that was the whole point of me not telling him I was going to his church in the first place.

I talked to lots of other people after church, staying and visiting for close to an hour, but Luke and I were like two planets orbiting each other, but never meeting. I expended a lot of focused energy on not looking his way, so I missed any glances he made in mine.

And also, possibly missed Morgan Plosner hitting on him with fried chicken!

Which is actually a good thing, because I don’t know that I could have controlled my feet or my mouth if I had seen it.

“Oh and he also told me so,” Etta adds.

“He what?” I gape at her.

“He told me he wasn’t interested in Morgan Plosner,” Etta elaborates. “I spoke to him on Sunday after church–you know he always manages to find me and check how I’m doing, such a good man, that one. Anyway, I asked him straight out about Morgan, because I wanted to be able to report back to you. ‘No, ma’am, I am not interested in her.’ That’s what he said to me.” She grins. “Then he looked your way again. Smitten kitten, that one.”

I’m not fully sure how I earned so much of Etta’s loyalty, but boy am I glad I did. She is some kind of force.

And I am smiling like a mad woman.

“Well, now, enough talk! Go tell him, enough is enough! Scoot, scoot!” She starts brandishing her cane at me, using it to nudge me out of her house.

“Okay, okay, Etta,” I say with a nervous laugh. “I’m going.”

I hurry out of her house and down to my car before remembering that Luke is having dinner with his parents tonight. I can’t exactly crash that. Can I? I mean, I’m sure George wouldn’t mind, but I’ve never met his mom, and I’m not sure what kind of impression I’d make storming into her home uninvited to profess my love for her son.

Anyway, I don’t even know where Luke’s parents live.

I slump in my seat, feeling dejected. My phone buzzes with a text and eagerly I snatch it from my purse, imagining that it’s Luke texting that he can’t stop thinking about me and is desperate to see me immediately! But no. It’s only Jill asking if I’m still babysitting the kids tonight.

Whoops. Forgot about that. Guess I’ll be spending my night with Liam and Ellie instead of professing my love to Luke.

When I get home, Jill and Max are waiting for me at the front door, both dolled up for the black tie dinner they’re going to.

“Liam is in his room playing with Legos,” Jill tells me in a rush. She checks her watch. “And Ellie should be home any minute. She was at the Stone’s house all afternoon, so Lexie will be bringing her home.”

Oh yay. I don’t get to see Luke tonight but I do get to see my number one critic. Whoop-de-doo.

“Thanks again, Hannah, for babysitting,” Jill says, bending to give me a hug. She smells good, like Chanel no. 5 and happiness.

My heart pings. I want to smell like happiness.

Luke. Maybe I’ll break my own rule and talk to him at church tomorrow. Obviously I won’t tell him I love him in front of all those people, but a simplehey, there strangerwould surely be appropriate.

Maybe I should make some fried chicken.

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