Page 32 of This Means War

“No,” I start to answer, but Cole interrupts.

“Lydia lives in Holland too, Ashley.” I wait for him to add, with me actually, because she’s my wife, but he doesn’t.

“Oh,” the word escapes her an octave higher than normal. “And you two are...friends?”

I would burst out the truth and maybe kiss him on the lips like he did in front of Elliot, but the fact that he’s not ready to claim me as his wife in front of her hurts. Causing both of them a moment of discomfort wouldn’t change that. Plus, the Unisom is really settling in now, and I just want to lay my head down and go to sleep. I blink hard, willing my body to stay alert.

“Lydia,” Cole doesn’t answer her question, his attention on me now, “you okay? Maybe you should go home and rest.” I swivel my head to look at him, which is hard work considering how very heavy my head has become. I’m awake enough to see the look of victory on his face though, and I scowl at him. Well, I try to, anyway. A yawn interrupts my attempt.

“Yes,” I say in defeat, “I think you’re probably right.” I stand on shaky legs, suddenly desperate to get out of there. “Enjoy the rest of the food.” I glance at Ashley. “Nice to see you again,” I lie.

“Lydia,” Cole stops me, “you can’t drive yourself home right now. I’ll take you.”

“Cole,” Ashley speaks up, “we have a meeting with Saul in fifteen minutes.” A meeting? Wait, does Ashley work with Cole?That’s not fair!I want to wail.He spends all his time here.That gives you the advantage, even though I’m the one married to him. The one having his babies.Thankfully, even in my tired state I refrain from saying any of this.

“Right.” Cole pauses. “Well, you’ll have to give him my apologies. I’ll get back as fast as I can.”

“Cole,” Ashley frowns, “why can’t she drive herself; what is she drunk?” She peers at me in disgust.

“I am not dr–” I begin, but another yawn cuts me off.

“She’s not drunk,” Cole finishes for me, “just tired. It wouldn’t be safe for her to drive like this.” I’m grateful he leaves out the part where I’m tired because I accidentally gave myself the sleeping pill that I’d intended to trick him into taking. Good Lord, I can’t believe I did that. What was I thinking? I need a filter to run my battle plans through from now on. Like how a general has a lieutenant.

“Can’t you get her an Uber or something?” Ashley suggests.

Oh no, not an Uber. Panic rises inside me. I start to speak, but Cole gets there first.

“Ashley, don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to put a tired woman in an Uber all by herself. It’s not safe. I’m driving her, and that’s final. I’m sure you can handle Saul until I get back.”

Without another word he takes me by the arm and guides me out. There’s a big part of me that is touched by his words, that wonders if he remembers my story about the Uber driver taking me to a cornfield. But there’s another, even bigger part of me, that notices how he still never told her that I’m his wife.

***

I wake up hourslater to darkness. As my eyes adjust, I realize I’m tucked into my bed. Embarrassment floods me as the memory of what happened at lunch returns. I don’t remember much of what happened after Cole took me to his car. I think I fell asleep on the drive home, which means...did he carry me in? The thought both thrills and mortifies me.

Then my mind settles over the more unpleasant details of that lunch. Finding out that Ashley works with Cole. Worse, Cole hasn’t told her we’re married. What kind of game is he playing? She’s going to have to find out sooner or later, so why the delay?

Groggily I get out of bed and make my way to the kitchen. It’s dark outside, but there’s no sign of Cole. He must still be at work. With her. I shudder involuntarily. Oh well. What do I care? Maybe I should just be happy with the fact that he’s not angry at me for attempting to drug him. I cringe.

Hungry I poke around in the fridge, retrieving some leftover pasta. I only take a few bites before my stomach roils, and I have to rush to the bathroom.

When I finish being sick, I stand shakily and study my reflection. I look young and weak. Even if Cole were a devoted husband, I wouldn’t be sure I could handle birthing then mothering two babies. Closing my eyes, I search for some words to say to break down the barrier I’ve been constructing between myself and God ever since that fatefulnight, but none come, and the ensuing silence highlights how very alone I have become.

Chapter 24

Cole

Saturday morningI wake up early to hit the trail for a run. I’m surprised when I step outside to find Lydia already there, dressed in running gear of her own. I got home late last night and either she’d never woken up or she’d been up, but then gone back to bed.

She turns at the sound of the door closing, and I freeze in place as I realize she’s been crying. Her eyes are slightly puffy, and there are tear stains on her cheeks. I’m about to ask her what’s wrong when she starts wiping furiously at her eyes, clearly trying to hide the fact that she’s been crying.

“You’re up early,” I say lightly.

“Yeah well,” she shrugs one shoulder, “I got a lot of sleep yesterday.”

I can’t keep the grin off my face, still smug about her ending up with her own doctored chicken salad. Point for me.

Lydia shoots me a death look, but I’m not bothered. There’s too big a part of me that’s actuallylooking forward to seeing what she comes up with next.

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