Page 96 of Promise Me Sunshine

“Yeah.” Miles clears his throat. “I’m really happy for him.”

“Well…” She clears her throat too.

“Is that your dad manning the grill?” I ask her, throwing all three of us a topic.

“Yes!” She jumps onto the lifeboat. “Barbecue was his idea. My mom wanted something fancier.”

“Like manicotti?” Miles asks, and it’s clearly an inside joke between the two of them because they’re suddenly grinning at each other.

“I think it’s still too soon to tease her about that.”

They continue grinning and then they realize they’re grinning at each other. The moment swells and deflates. She’s nervous again. “Well, I just wanted to say hi.”

She starts backing away but then stops cold, both hands grabbing her skirt. “Miles…I came with Sean.”

There’s a distinct pause.

“I mean…I mean that I’mwithSean. I came with him and I’m with him.” She looks very much like she’d like the earth to open wide and end things mercifully.

Miles clears his throat again. “That’s great, Kira. That’s really great.”

“Oh! Okay. Right.” She does one more little wave and then scampers back to the party.

I turn to him and cock my head, studying him. “Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Who is Sean?”

“Sean Vogel.” Like that answers my question.

“And he is…?”

He’s still watching her walk away. “She cheated on me with Sean a few years ago. I took her back. Nobody ever knew but the three of us.”

Ice spears through my chest.Kira’s the town sweetheart. When we started dating, everyone seemed to sort of…accept me again.I’m aching for the younger version of Miles who didn’t want to be the outcast anymore. Who couldn’t pack up Anders’s room but stayed with Kira to prove he was all better. Who wanted happiness at any cost.

“Are you really okay?” I ask.

He takes a deep breath and drops his head back, letting all the air out in a thin stream toward the sky.

“You know? Yeah. I’m glad she found someone. And I’m really glad she’s not mad anymore. Mostly it’s a relief that the saying hi part is over with. Should we eat?”

He’s already walking toward the buffet line, but I’m stuck ten feet back.

Instinctually I know that he doesn’t need soft sympathy right now. I scramble to catch up to him. “We should have given me a major makeover. I’m talking, like, lip fillers and a boob job. I should be wearing a Jessica Rabbit dress.”

He stops walking and frowns at me. “You’re not my revenge date. You’re my…copilot.”

His words fill me with helium. I explode into a grin.

“Miles!” We turn and there’s a high school buddy: toothy grin, receding hairline, two arms thrown around Miles. “My guy! So happy to see you!”

We’ve attracted some attention, and a small crowd gathers around Miles. There’s some backslapping and some high fives and some kisses on the cheek.

Finally we get food and we sit down and watch white people dance. Always a treat.

“So. There’s ‘Purple Rain.’ ”

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