Page 42 of Promise Me Sunshine

“That’s a much better percentage than I was working with.”

“Yeah,” he says with a resolute nod. “It is.”

Chapter Ten

“I’m home!” Reese calls from the front hall.

Ainsley doesn’t react, because she’s sitting at the kitchen table with her gigantic Princess Leia headphones on, presumably tearing her way through Sir Elton John’s discography. She’s got a gigantic nest of tiny rubber bands in front of her. When I was a kid we put those on our orthodontia, but these days kids apparently twist them into bracelets.

Miles, on the other hand, overreacts to Reese’s arrival, going straight as an ironing board and immediately hiding away the Cheez-Its he’s just been snacking on.

“Miles ate all your Cheez-Its,” I say the second Reese enters the kitchen.

He turns and looks at me like he’d really enjoy punting me down a water slide if given the chance.

It’s knee-jerk. She laughs at the expression on his face. “Yeah, that’s okay,” she says. “I can afford another box.”

Would you look at that; perhaps for the first time ever, Reese and Miles have had a nonstiff greeting. He blinks at her as she crosses the room toward Ainsley.

“Ains. Ains!”

Ainsley jolts and one of the rubber bands slingshots off her finger.

“Ouch! Shit!” Reese bends forward into a crouch, her hands over one of her eyes.

“Mom!Oh, Mommy, I’m so sorry.” Ainsley scrambles her headphones off and tumbles her chair in her hurry to get to Reese.

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Reese says, patting her daughter with one hand and covering her eye with the other. “I just…Let me just.”

Miles is there in an instant. “Let me see.”

“It’s really okay,” Reese insists, trying to get past Miles while Ainsley tugs on her pants leg.

“Mommy, I’m sorry,” she says again, and then bursts into tears.

“Oh, Ains—”

“Seriously, Reese, just let me see.” He puts a hand on her elbow as she’s reaching down toward Ainsley, who is now fully wailing.

“It’s okay, Miles. Ainsley, come up here, sweetie.”

“You don’t know if it’s okay yet, just let me—”

“Miles!Back off.I’m fucking fine if I say I’m fucking fine, okay?”

We all freeze. There’s a sobbing breath and it doesn’t come from Ainsley.

“Just back off,” she says again, her voice quaking. And then she turns, Ainsley in her arms, and leaves the kitchen.

Miles’s back is to me, his hands on his hips and his head down.Not everyone will accept help when they’re grieving. Some people just…go inward and bear it all alone.Those were his words when we sat outside the sandwich shop, when I asked him why it was so important to him to help me through this time.

I make it to his side. He looks down at me, so frustrated and hurt. Useless, is what he called himself.

He takes a deep breath.

“I’ve got stuff for pancakes. Come up when you’re done here.” He goes to leave, pauses in the hallway, and then makes his way out of the apartment.

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