Page 139 of Promise Me Sunshine

“Yeah. Good idea.” We help each other stand and he leads the way toward one of the mysterious doors I’ve never been through before. I rip my pants and socks off on the way, toss my shirt on the ground.

He opens the door of the bedroom and steps aside to let me through first.

There’s an enormous framed photo of the full moon over a big wooden bed frame. I wonder vaguely if he got it before or after I made him get a howling wolf tattooed on his back. He’s got a gray-blue bedspread, an off-white knitted blanket tossed over the foot of the bed. The walls are a darkergray-blue and there’s a dark leather armchair under the window. A brass lamp leans over the chair, a stack of books on the floor underneath. His black hoodie hangs out of a semi-open dresser drawer and I’d like to hug it for being the only thing I recognize.

He comes up behind me and kisses my shoulder, my neck. His hands land on my belly and he pulls me back against him. He’s taken his shirt off apparently because all I can feel is skin-heat and chest hair. I make an involuntary noise and push back against him. Reaching back, I get two thumbs into the waistband of his jeans and underwear. I push down but don’t get very far.

He pulls his hips away, undoes his jeans, and this time when I push, his clothes fall down. I feel something very interesting and very domineering pressing into my lower back and when I turn, into my belly.

His hands trace from my back to my ass and when I jump up he catches me. My legs go around his waist and he walks backward to the armchair in the corner, sitting down with me on his lap.

We’re separated only by my underwear and holy smokes this isMileswho I’m naked with and more than that, this is someone who Ilovethat I’m naked with. I turn my head away from our kiss and he goes automatically to my neck.

I’m about to have sex for the first time in two years. No, wait. I’m about tomake lovefor the first time in mylife.A hysterical bubble of laughter rises in my throat and I swallow it down.

What is this room? Seriously? I feel like I’m in a stranger’s house. Like I’m one-night-standing Miles, which makes this even weirder.

All at once, I scramble off his lap and turn away, taking deep breaths and trying not to completely freak out.

“You okay?”

Slowly, I turn back to him. He’s legs spread, elbows on the arms of the chair, one temple resting on his fist and staring atme.

My eyes finally drop to his crotch and I come face to face with the very interesting, very domineering part of him, but unfortunately for everyone involved the hysteria wins, and I explode into laughter.

He shakes his head and raises his eyes to God.

“Oh no,” I say on a gasp for air. “I’m completely ruining this.”

His chin drops. “Well, yeah. Raucous laughter isn’t what you hope for when you show someone your dick for the first time.”

“Your dick is wonderful! I love your dick. Miles, how are you so calm over there? We’renaked.”

His temple goes back to his fist. “Weare not naked.”

I glance down at my bra and panties. “Oh. Right. Sorry.” I quickly and gracelessly strip out of my bra and hop on one foot to get out of my undies, kicking everything to the side.

And then I’m completely naked in front of Miles.

I put my hands out to the sides in a T. “Ta-da?”

Now he’s the one laughing.

“How do we make this less weird?” I ask, shaking my hands out and starting to pace.

“For starters you could come over here.”

“Not yet. I think we need to get super horned up first. I wish this were a porn, then the sex would just happen like bam!” An idea strikes and I freeze halfway through one lap of his bedroom. “Should I pretend you’re my stepbrother? They do that in porn.”

“Oh, my God.”

“Or I could be your high school teacher?”

Heavy sigh.

“Ooh! I know, I’ll just get on all fours and you can do me from the back. Then we wouldn’t even have to look at each other.”

“If you don’t even want to look at me, then I don’t think we should be sleeping together.”

---