Page 60 of Promise Me Sunshine

“What?” he asks, mouth full of sandwich.

“Yours looks better than mine.” I pout. “Next time remind me to order whatever you order.”

He tears his sandwich in half and puts it in my shrimp basket, stealing some shrimp for himself. “So tell me about the cashier.”

“Huh?”

“The cashier. The one you were just lusting after. What makes him your Prince Charming?”

I laugh and take a bite of the sandwich he just gifted me. “He’s not a Prince Charming. They’re never a Prince Charming. Who wants Prince Charming? I want someone as screwed up as I am so I don’t suffer by comparison.”

He laughs. “Sounds healthy.”

I shrug. “It is what it is.”

“So tell me,” he prods. “What’s your story with the cashier? I’m curious.”

“I figure he’s an aspiring chef. He’s got a TikTok that’s got a lot of traction. He’ll take me to a ton of restaurants and expos around the city. We’ll eventually live in one of those studio apartments right over there and I’ll stroll along the boardwalk, even in the winter. He’ll get me earmuffs and those badass gloves with the fingers cut off.” I’m on a roll and Miles is listening intently. “With him? I bet I get pregnant by accident. We’ll get married so my parents don’t have a heart attack. And I’ll always wonder if he would have married me otherwise. Until one day I join him at an expo he doesn’t know I’m coming to. A gorgeous girl is hitting on him but he shows her his wedding ring and tells her he loves me.”

Miles eyes me, chewing his food for a long moment. Then he bodily turns around and studies the cashier. The cashier catches Miles’s eye and jolts, looking distinctly uncomfortable and busying himself with organizing receipts.

“What you just describedisa Prince Charming, isn’t it?” Miles says, turning back around. “You got your happy ever after.”

“Oh.” I consider it, and then the cashier again. He catches my eye and starts to look annoyed. “I think the cashier thinks we’re about to ask him to spice up our marriage.”

Miles chokes, coughs, and then turns around to look at him again. “Whoops. Let’s let the poor guy work.”

“Maybe you’re right about the Prince Charming thing. My fantasies don’t always end up happily, though. Sometimes I fantasize about a breakup.”

He laughs, balls up his napkin, and tosses it into his empty sandwich basket. “Why would you fantasize about a breakup? Aren’t these fantasies supposed to be fun?”

“Hypothetical breakups are totally fun! Come on! They’re romantic when they’re not actually happening to you.”

He eyes me. “You’ve never had a real breakup, huh?”

“What? How dare you! I’ve never been so insulted in all my—yeah, not really. I’ve dated casually. But I’ve never been heartbroken. Romantically at least.”

“Well, it’s not something to fantasize about, trust me.”

“Well, was your relationshipitselfsomething to fantasize about?”

“Define fantasy.”

“Clothes-tearing, you’re-my-other-half, still in love after all these years?”

He gives me a funny little smile, like he just learned a secret about me. “That’s what you’re looking for?”

“Isn’t that what everyone is looking for? High passion? Rose between the teeth?”

“Are you saying you want high passion for the rest of your life? You never want your partner to just be your companion sometimes?”

“It’s not that I never want to feel comfortable. It’s just…It’d be nice to wake up in the morning anddesire.I’d like to come home from work and bewanted.Is that so bad?”

“You want to be having sex in the morning and after work from now until you’re dead?…That sounds like hell on your joints.”

I can’t help but burst out laughing. “And whatyouwant is…” I prod. We’ve never talked about anything like this and I find myself dangerously close to insatiably curious.

He considers, finishing his beer in one big swallow. I nudge mine across the table and he takes a sip of that too. “I want something that feels…natural, even if it’s not always sexy. Because relationships change so much while you’re in them. And so do the people. Even if you start out wanting one thing, a few years down the road you might want something completely different.”

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