Page 123 of Promise Me Sunshine

But actually, now that I think about it, he wasn’t writing in the notebook. He was making a motion I’ve become very familiar with over the last few months.

“You were crossing something out, weren’t you!” I scramble up to a sit.

“Oh, great. Now you’ll never sleep.”

He’s trying to get away, but I lunge forward and catch him by the shirt. “Miles, you called it a grand plan…but is it actually that you have your own list? You weren’t kidding when you mentioned the ocean? Mountains? The cannonball? Do you actually have a list of things that might need to happen before you think I’m ready to be with you? Do you have a Kiss Lenny list?”

He’s squeezing his eyes shut.

“You said there were things that wouldn’t count if you told me what they are. Things I have to do for myself.” He’s opened his eyes and I’m searching them. “Was me cleaning the apartment, or getting my stuff in order, one of the things?”

He sighs and turns to get his shoes on. “I think you might be pathologically incapable of patience.”

“I’m right!” I crow.

“Lists happen to be a really useful way to keep your thoughts organized,” he says grumpily.

“Now I just have to guess what else is on the list.”

“You think you’re besting me, but that would actually make me extremely happy.”

“Mark my words, we’re gonna be making out within a week.”

He’s laughing and rolling his eyes. “G’night, Len.”

He pushes out the door and I’m alone with all my thoughts and for the very first time since Lou died, that’s not a bad thing at all.

Chapter Thirty

“Hi, wow, what’s happening?” Miles says as he opens his door, his eyes big when he sees that I pretty much can’t see over top of these grocery bags I’ve filled with supplies from the grocery store.

“Hi. Go about your business. Just here to cross an obvious one off your list.”

He’s frowning at me. “Obvious?”

“Food. You’re obsessed with feeding me. I’m going to prove I know how to feed myself. And feed you for once.” I push past him and kick my shoes off. And then I get the literal shock of a literal lifetime.

There is a man sitting on Miles’s couch.

I nearly drop the groceries on the floor. “Miles,” I say stiltedly. “You. Have. A friend.”

Both he and the man start laughing.

“Hello.” The man stands up and attempts to shake my hand around the grocery bags. He ends up just taking one of the bags from me. “I’m Ethan.”

He’s got copper hair and a wolfish smile. Handsome like a brand-new shined-up pickup truck. I’m immediately skydiving into love. Ethan and I will become a singer-songwriter husband-and-wife duo, we’ll—Miles lifts the other grocery bag away from my hands and then proceeds to put his own handsinsidemy coat. I nearly swallow my tongue. Yes, he’s technically just helping me take my coat off, but did he haveto touch my entire rib cage like that? By the time he’s slid it carefully down my arms and assertively straightened my fuzzy sweater that’s just gone askew, this guy Ethan is basically just man-shaped fog, and everything in my life is fuzzy except for Miles. Based on the semi-smug look on his face, I think that might have been his intention.

“This is Lenny. Ethan is a friend from back home. A few years younger than I am.”

“Oh! Are you visiting the city?”

He shakes his head. “Actually I live in Brooklyn. We haven’t gotten to see each other much since Miles moved here, though. I’ve got an eighteen-month-old and I run a bar, so things are pretty jam-packed for me.”

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and shows me his lock screen. He’s cheek to chubby cheek with a grinning redheaded baby. I can’t tell which one of them is happier.

“Wow,” I say, grinning myself. “Your kid is happiness in human form.”

“Miriam.” He supplies her name. “She really is.” His smile turns thoughtful and affectionate. “Unless you have to get her into rain boots. Then she’s rage in human form.”

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