Page 119 of Promise Me Sunshine

“Miles, for the love of God, can we go into that hallway over there and make out?”

He gives me a disapproving frown. “By the bathrooms? Gross.”

“Fine! Then take me home and do me!”

Now he’s the one inhaling his drink through his nose and I’m the one thwacking him. Gotta say, much more fun to be the thwacker.

His Satan glower is back. “You want me to take you home and do you.”

“Sure!”

He leans back, crosses his arms over his chest, and eyes me. And I mean, this is a thorough appraisal. “Nah. My way is better.”

“We haven’t even tried my way!” I poke his shoulder. “My way you get to put your hand inside this jumpsuit.”

A few hairline cracks seem to spiderweb their way up his resolve. His eyes drop from my face down to my body before they skitter away back to the dance floor.

I’m encouraged by this reaction. I pull my hair out of my ponytail and flip the whole mess of it over to one side, looking up at him through a pout. “Miles,” I purr, drawing a circle over the back of one of his hands. “Have I waited long enough?”

He groan-laughs and scrubs his hands over his face. “You’re torturing me.”

“Well, that makes two of us!” I drop the sexpot act and sit up straight. “You’re the one who’s obsessed with waiting!”

He crosses his arms again and watches me. “You know,you acclimated to this change a lot quicker than I thought you would.”

“What change? Oh, from friends to lov-ahs?”

He icks at my use of that word but carries on. “It would be…a big change.”

I consider this solemnly. “Well, obviously I freaked out upstate when I realized how I felt.”

“But that was more about Lou than about…you and me, right?”

“Right. And in terms of you and me…maybe itisn’tsuch a big change.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…I can’t say how long I’ve been feeling exactly likethis.But I’ve been wanting to crawl inside your sweatshirts for a while now.” I shift a little bit closer to him and play with the pushed-up fabric at the bend of his elbow. “And you’ve been feeding me and washing my hair and herding me around town.”

His eyes are on my hand, and when I brush my fingers down to his exposed forearm, the muscle goes tense. He takes a big swallow of beer and forces himself to look at anything that isn’t me touching him.

I tug-tug at his shirt and he looks back at me. “My mom asked me if you treat me well, Miles. You know what I said to her?”

“What’s that?” he says in a low, husky voice.

“I said that you walked into hell and dragged me back out.”

Something crosses his face, I’m not sure what, and he turns away from me, covering the bottom half of his expression with his free hand. “Lenny.”

“Why should I be scared of kissing you, Miles? I’d just be getting even closer to the safest place in the whole world.”

He slams his eyes closed for a moment and when they come open, he’s burning with determination. “I’m gonna go.”

“What? Why?”

He laughs, exasperated. “I’m not obsessed withwaiting,Len. I’m obsessed with…Look, I really want to get this right. It’s important. There are signs that’ll tell me that you’re…But if we rush…So…when the timing is right…it won’t just be because you’re looking hot as fuck in…that thing.” He gestures to my jumpsuit. “It’s not about that for me. You’re not an itch. You’re…You’re…”

Perhaps the most important thing in his life.

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