Page 113 of Promise Me Sunshine

“You don’t have to figure it all out right now,” he says in a low voice.

My body informs me that I’m about to do something really risky, because suddenly I’m all adrenaline, shaky with nerves and ecstatic promise. “I think I alreadydohave it all figured out.”

I glance at his dark, patient gaze and then away. It’s too much to look in his eyes right now. “You’ve been…these last few months…there’s been nothing I can’t talk to you about.”

His hand leaves my face now and clasps his other at my back, encircling me again. “And it feelsweird,” I say in almost a whisper, “to have had this gigantic thing happen to me that I can’t tell you.”

His brow furrows. “Gigantic thing?”

“You’ve probably noticed that I’m not good at holding my feelings in.”

He laughs a little but doesn’t agree or disagree. I pluck at his now-familiar button. He slouches down some to get back in my eyeline.

“I have no experience with this,” I whisper.

“With what?”

“It’s never happened to me before—I mean, I’ve never told anybody that I—” I put a hand flat over the locket and realize belatedly that that hand is also flat over my heart.

This time my eyes get stuck on his and I just can’t say any more. But maybe I’ve already said enough because his face, just a foot from mine, goes from attentive listening to surprised understanding. His eyes bounce-bounce between mine. His eyebrows raise.

We’re both stock-still. I’m suddenly extremely aware of the fact that we’re tangled together and he’s warm and strongand I’m definitely staring at his mouth, which I realize because he licks his lips and it makes me lick mine too.

My heart is hollow, tripping down an incline. I’ve got one hand on his collar. My thumb traces a circle against hot skin and I feel him swallow. I’m pulled into his gaze. There are no words, just a buzzing cloud of adrenaline and warmth.

I’m suddenly two inches away from his mouth and I’m not sure how I got there. I’ve got a hand on either side of his face and it’s just so dark and lovely in this room. So quiet except for our breaths. His hand comes up to grip my wrist.

“Lenny.”

“Hm?” I’m stuck in his eyes, awash in his warm breath, melting into his lap, leaning close. Now I’m an inch away. I can almost taste him.

Clop.His hand shoots up between us and claps over my mouth.

“Mmfff!” My gaze flings to his.

“Lenny,” he says with a little smile on his face. “Wait.”

I struggle back from his hand. “If you don’t want to kiss me, that’s fine, but you don’t have to muzzle me!”

He strong-arms me from wiggling off his lap and puts one light finger under my chin, holding me in place.

“I didn’t say no,” he says, and I’ve never heard his voice rumble low quite like that before. His eyes drop to my mouth. Then his hand slides back up and his palm covers my lips again. He leans in slow, eyes on mine, and presses a soft kiss to the back of his own hand, directly over where my lips are. “I saidwait.”

He pushes the chair back, sets me on my feet, and then leans forward, elbows on knees. He lets out a long breath. I must breathe it directly in because I’m gasping for air.

I grip the locket with both hands and stare at him as heunfolds himself from the chair and comes to a stand in front of me.

“Wait for what?” I ask in a hoarse voice. “Is this about the list? You want to wait until it’s finished or something?”

“No.” He clears his throat. “No, not exactly.”

“Then what are we waiting for?”

He takes a skein of my hair; he traces it all the way down to the ends before he lets it fall. Then he slides his hands into his pockets, his face tipped down first to the floor and then back to me. “We’ll know it when we see it.”

“What?” But he’s already gone to gather our shoes and coats.

“I’ll walk you home.”

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