Page 29 of Can't Help Falling

She looked like she was going to respond right away, but instead she turned her head and looked out the small window above his sink. There was a small glass ornament dangling there that Mary had given him, but she didn’t appear to be seeing it. Her eyes were lost and distant. When she turned back to him, Tyler got the distinct impression that he was actually going to be conversing with her, not with whatever words she thought would convince him.

“Tyler, do you have any idea what it’s like to be a woman walking around this city? To get asked out by men you don’t want to go out with? You reject them and sometimes, sometimes, they’re nice about it. But I’d say ninety-five percent of the time, their embarrassment or anger or outrage turns them into assholes, okay? Do you know how many times I’ve been called a name because I’ve politely turned someone down? Called a name simply because I don’t feel the same way about them as they do about me?”

He felt the blood run out of his face as the truth of her words registered. She was a beautiful woman, and he’d been around the block enough to have witnessed some truly foul behavior from his male compatriots to know that she wasn’t exaggerating. But still. “You thought I’d treat you that way?” He was flatly flummoxed, aware enough to realize that his blank shock stank of ignorance to the issue at hand. “I thought you were being incendiary when you said that I was punishing you for turning me down. But you meant it. God. That’s not what I—That’s not who I—Fin, I’m not a monster. I know how to take it on the chin. If you’d rejected me politely, I would have been polite right back.”

For the second time in their conversation, something like guilt flashed across her face. Then her chin came up and a firm sort of resolution took guilt’s place, the set of her mouth turning stubborn. “Well, I don’t take my chances with that, Tyler. I make myself very clear with a man. So there is no misunderstanding. And if he’s shocked into silence or has to immediately limp away and lick his wounds, then all the better for me to make my getaway unscathed. Maybe it makes me cruel, but it also keeps me from getting called a bitch, or getting yelled at in public. Or getting followed by some guy or another.”

“Men have followed you after you rejected them?” Tyler asked incredulously.

Of course, her expression said to him and Tyler’s fierce decision over what to do about Fin started to crumble at the edges like yellowed newspaper.

“Dammit,” he grumbled, dropping his chin into one palm and drumming his other fingers against the kitchen table.

“What?”

He glared at her. “I don’t want to see your side, Fin. I was much happier just feeling like I was right.”

To his surprise, she laughed. After a second, she pushed off from where she’d been leaning on his counter and pulled out the chair across the table from him. It was an adversarial position she’d chosen. The chair that someone sitting down for a negotiation would have selected. But still, she was sitting at his table with a begrudging smile on her face and Tyler felt more of the paper crumble.

“That’s how I felt when you showed up for Thanksgiving with a beard and hair in your eyes,” she admitted.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“You normally look like such a Ken doll,” she said and waved her hand through the air, a casual indictment of his entire visage. “But you showed up to Thanksgiving looking scruffy and—”

“Scruffy?!” He straightened up in outrage. Maybe he’d looked a little less put-together than usual, but he’d never looked “scruffy” a day in his life. “I did not look scruffy. Yes, maybe my hair could have used a trim. But I didn’t have a beard.”

“You say beard like it’s some sort of shameful growth.”

“Men who grow beards have something to hide,” Tyler said decisively and to his surprise, Fin laughed again.

“Sebastian wears a beard. And in my professional opinion, he’s the least deceptive person on earth.”

“Sebastian is a freak of nature.”

Fin chuckled at that as well, so Tyler didn’t feel the need to clarify that he’d said it lovingly.

“If it wasn’t a beard that was on your face then what was it?”

He thought back to Thanksgiving and remembered that in the fog of getting Kylie to Brooklyn he’d forgotten to shave that morning. “That is what happens if I don’t shave my face every twelve hours. It’s my curse that my facial hair grows so fast.”

“Sounds like it would be easier just to let it grow.”

“And hide my beautiful face under a bush? A face bush?”

This time her laughter was not begrudging at all. It was sparkling and genuinely humored. “You consider a beard to be a face bush?” She chuckled again. “God, that’s vile.”

“Good. You’re finally starting to see things my way.”

At that, her expression sobered. “I guess I am.” She drew a quick, unseeable shape with one finger over the top of the table. She huffed out a breath, as if she were about to do something she really didn’t want to do. “Look. I was rude, abrupt and maybe even cruel to you at that ball game. I understand why you might be skeptical of the time I want to spend with Kylie. So, why don’t we compromise and have the three of us hang out together for a while? If you’re still uncomfortable with my presence in her life, I’ll back off. If you deem me to be acceptable, then Kylie and I can be friends.”

Tyler was quiet for a minute, mulling over her words. He didn’t want to be the kind of guy who folded after three jokes around a kitchen table, and he still felt that he had good reason to be wary of Fin. On the other hand, even if it was reluctant, he did sort of understand her point about rejecting men. She was a painfully gorgeous woman and he figured that learning how to deal with men effectively in order to keep herself safe was most likely something she’d taught herself long, long ago.

“I know you think I’m a jerk, Ty. And to you, I was. But do you really think I’d be a jerk to her? I—” She broke off and Tyler stilled when he realized that her eyes were shiny with emotion. Gone was the impassiveness he’d come to associate her with. As far as he could tell, there was nothing clairvoyant happening in this current conversation whatsoever. This was two people sharing normal words. “I had a complicated upbringing. And I think that in lots of ways, it prepared me to help out kids who’ve also had complicated upbringings. I could be good for her. I know I could.”

He drummed his fingers again, irritated at himself for folding so easily. He suddenly threw both hands up in the air. “Oh, fine. I guess it wouldn’t kill me to spend some time just the three of us.”

He nearly reeled back from her when an explosively happy smile burst across her face. It changed the shape of her features from long and carved with shadow to suddenly round and high. Her teeth were a slice between her full lips, reflecting light and joy. And those big, achingly light eyes of hers had practically disappeared, all squished down into almost nothing. He was amazed that a woman so beautiful would have such a goofy smile.

It disarmed him.

He smiled back at her, but in a contained, cautious way. He wasn’t ready to be disarmed around her. He figured that if he’d learned anything from the ball game, it was that she was never fully disarmed herself. It would do to remember that she was a woman with plenty of weapons. And she wasn’t scared to use them on Tyler.

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